


These Bitter Weeds

by Katlou303



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Character Development, Codependency, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, For Want of a Nail, Haruno Sakura-centric, Not Irredeemable Sasuke, Otogakure - Freeform, Pre-Time Skip, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Protectiveness, Sakura and Sasuke leave Konoha, Strong Haruno Sakura, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-03-16 18:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13642419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katlou303/pseuds/Katlou303
Summary: Sakura begged Sasuke to take her with him when he was leaving Konoha.He said yes.





	1. Chapter 1

“Take me with you!” Sakura says desperately, hardly knowing what she’s saying, just so intensely aware that one wrong word could spell the end of Team Seven.

It feels as though she is standing on a precipice, and if she missteps it’ll be Sasuke who falls, not her. She can barely breathe through the tears, can already feel her eyes swelling up.

“You don’t even know what you’re offering.” Sasuke says, sounding disdainful.

Maybe it’s true. Maybe she’s just a stupid girl in over her head. But the idea of Sasuke leaving, really abandoning Konoha and becoming a missing-nin… he would be her enemy. _Naruto’s_ enemy. They would be expected to attack him on sight.

When Sakura thinks about the future she envisaged with Sasuke, it never involved him being alone.

“I do know.” She says, certainty hardening her voice. Sasuke’s head tilts ever so slightly. “I’d technically be betraying Konoha. I’d have to leave my parents, my friends. My team. But isn’t that the whole point of being on a team in the first place? When one member’s in trouble, you don’t just abandon them to their fate just to complete the mission. _Those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash,_ remember? If you feel like you have to do this… then I can’t just leave you to face it all alone.”

Sasuke finally turns to face her. The disdain is gone. He looks pensive, dark eyes examining every inch of her face. Sakura keeps her eyes on his jaw, very aware of the possibility of his Sharingan activating at a moment’s notice.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Sasuke says.

“Of course! Naruto would do the same thing!”

“No, he wouldn’t. Naruto wants to be Hokage. He can’t do that if he’s under Orochimaru’s thumb. Have you thought about that? Having to work for him, be a member of Oto?”

_Is he… actually considering this?_

Emboldened, Sakura clenches her fists. “I’d hate it, I can’t pretend otherwise. But I hate the idea of leaving you alone with that snake even more!”

“I’ll be safe with him, because he needs me. You would be collateral. He’d kill you on sight, or use you against me. I’m not giving him any kind of advantage.”

“Yes, you are! If you go with him, you’re giving up your body, right? Or at least risking him taking it from you! You’re already beholden to him. You need an ally. Someone you know is truly on your side, who can’t be turned against you.” Sakura is one step away from outright pleading. She’s so set on the path she’s laid, it feels like all other roads are closed to her now. If he rejects her, sends her running back to Konoha, how could she look Naruto in the eye?

She can feel Sasuke’s gaze, as heavy as a touch grazing her cheek, but she can’t look up. She can’t risk seeing red and giving him the opportunity to take away her choice.

“You’re just saying all this because you think you love me.” Sasuke grunts, stepping back.

“I… I know you hate me, Sasuke-kun. I know you think I’m annoying. I don’t mind. I can be better for you, I promise. I can change.” She says, tears thickening her voice. He probably hates her even more now.

“You shouldn’t.” Sasuke says, his voice softer than before. “Think about this. You’re offering to throw away your entire life for me. What’s the point in that?”

“I’d be with you.” Sakura says, surprised he even had to ask.

In an instant, he’s in front of her, eyes red and staring into hers. She gasps, closing her eyes a fraction too late.

“Open your eyes.” Sasuke says.

“No!” She shakes her head. The feel of her hair is still jarring to her, just barely brushing against her shoulders. She’s used to a heavy weight down her back. It was comforting, letting her long, silken locks hide her face. Now she feels all too exposed.

“I’m not going to do anything. Just open them.”

Sakura grits her teeth. If he’d wanted to use his Sharingan, he could’ve the moment their eyes met. She has to risk this. She has to trust him.

She opens her eyes slowly, peeking up at him.

He’s –

He’s… _smiling_.

_What?_

It’s small, just a little quirk of his lips, but it’s not the smirk she’s used to glimpsing, it’s something else entirely.

“I thought being on this team was the path I was meant to walk. I was wrong. I was born for one purpose, to be an avenger. I plan to kill a certain man.” Sasuke says, his scarlet eyes still alien and strange to her. She’s so used to his gaze being dark, with flashes of indigo in the sunlight. “Will you help me?”

Sakura’s eyes widen. “You – you want me to help? Of course! I’ll work hard to get stronger and I won’t let you down, I promise!”

Sasuke lets out a little huff of amusement. “Just don’t get in my way. Come on, then. We’re leaving.”

Sakura beams, rushing forward to join him, then stops. An icy shock runs through her. What is she doing? Abandoning Konoha? Leaving her friends, Ino, _Naruto_? Losing half of Team Seven will hurt him so badly.

And her parents…

Sasuke is watching her, his eyes back to normal. He looks resigned, as if he expected her to chicken out.

That strengthens her resolve. She’s tired of being left behind. She’s tired of just watching as Team Seven fights for their lives. On their very first mission, she didn’t even get a scratch. She was supposed to be the one protecting Tazuna, but Sasuke leapt in front of her, and then Kakashi did the same thing. Naruto and Sasuke fought Haku – Sasuke nearly _died_ – while Kakashi held off a missing-nin on his own, because Sakura was too weak to do anything. All she did on that mission was cry over Sasuke.

When Naruto and Sasuke charged at each other, each one wielding a deadly jutsu, she had been powerless to stop them. The most she could do was try to block their strikes with her body. She had to be saved, _again._

“I’m coming.” Sakura says firmly.

Sasuke looks at her with something that might be respect.

“Thank you.” He says.

xxxxxxxx

They reach the outskirts of Konoha without being stopped, though Sakura spends the entire time looking over her shoulder and seeing eyes in the dark.

She can’t imagine the consequences of being caught trying to abandon your village. She remembers the gouge running through Zabuza’s hitae ate. The desperation in his eyes when he realised Gato had betrayed him. The life of a missing-nin is fraught with peril and treachery. At least this way, Sasuke will have one good ally, like Haku was for Zabuza.

Sakura pushes away the memory of two unmarked graves, an abandoned sword and tool.

Four shinobi dart in front of them.

Sakura flinches, taking a step back.

“Who’s the girl?” A boy with silver hair says, raising an eyebrow at her.

“None of your business.” Sasuke says flatly, ignoring Sakura’s sudden inability to breathe. “If you get in my way, I’ll kill you all.”

The nin smirk at each other. Sakura has a sinking feeling that Sasuke couldn’t even kill _one_ of these people. They feel strong.

“Of course, Sasuke-sama.” The same silver-haired boy says, wrestling his expression into a parody of politeness.

Sasuke narrows his eyes. “Why are you even here?”

“Ever since we left the village, we decided you should lead us. Please forgive us for before.”

 _Before?_ Sakura looks around them. They’re Oto nin, clearly, and she can see Orochimaru’s mark on some of them. They probably all bear his cursed seal. What had they done to Sasuke that required forgiveness?

“Hmph. It’s fine either way. Let’s go.” Sasuke shrugs, the very picture of nonchalance, and starts walking.

Sakura hurries to match his pace, not wanting to walk with the strange nin. She can still feel their eyes digging into her back. She’s not supposed to be here. She’s probably disturbing some grand plan of Orochimaru’s. Good.

The moon is high in the sky. Visibility is good. They are probably guaranteed a large head start, since Sakura was the only one to suspect Sasuke might try to leave tonight. Sakura notes all of this as they travel. It’s easier to focus on the practical elements, to treat it all like a mission, than to get stuck in the emotional aspects. If she thinks too hard about what she’s doing, that knot of fear in her stomach will intensify until she can’t go any further. Instead, she notes the cloudless sky, the ground hardened by a lack of recent rain. She’s not dressed for a mission, but she did make sure to grab a belt with pouches full of supplies, just in case. She’s been on edge ever since the invasion, waiting for feathers to float in front of her and for a waking nightmare to begin again.

It’s just a mission.

She doesn’t think about her parents’ faces, or wonder how long it will take them to realise she’s gone. She doesn’t picture her empty bed, the photo of Team Seven she left behind. She cannot dwell on Naruto’s reaction when he hears the news. She can’t regret leaving just as they were starting to become real friends, not just teammates who had been forced together.

Sasuke seems to believe she has ‘chosen’ him above everything else in her life, but really Sakura just felt like she had nothing left to offer but herself. She had tried reasoning with him, pleading with him and begging him, and nothing worked. She knew Sasuke would become unreachable the moment he severed ties with Konoha. All she could do was go with him. To do anything else would have felt like giving up.

He lectured her about loneliness, once. How could she leave him alone, knowing it was his greatest fear?

They’ve been running for hours. Her internal clock tells her it’s nearly three, and she needs sleep _now._ She’s not quite at the point of dragging her feet yet, so she soldiers on, for once not even thinking about impressing Sasuke.

The Sound Four keep giving her looks.

She has the distinct feeling they’re planning to do away with her the moment they get the chance. What could Sasuke even do? Fight them and be defeated? Go back to Konoha and be arrested? She’s aware that her presence is a burden – _because isn’t it always,_ she thinks bitterly – and he’d be better off without her in many ways. But he must know it too, and he still said yes.

The Forest of Death was the first time Sakura and Sasuke had been forced to survive together. The first time he had relied on her. She clutched his hand while he writhed in agony, allowed him to grip her too hard, puffing out pained breaths against her sweat-soaked hair. She had soothed him with nonsense words, stroking his hand and at one point even trying to rock him back and forth, anything to take his mind of the burning in his veins. She had helped him, and he had let her.

He asked her to keep the cursed seal a secret, and she had. They’d left the forest as different people, their shared horrors linking them together.

 _You think you love me,_ Sasuke had said, as if it was ridiculous.

The smile on his face when she had said her reward would be being with him – that must have been when it finally dawned on him.

 _God help me, I do love him,_ Sakura thinks, the last of her tears flying off her cheek as she leaps from branch to branch.

_And I don’t care that he doesn’t love me._

xxxxxxxx

The only other girl tosses Sakura something when she starts to flag, falling behind. A soldier pill. Sakura’s seen them before, knows all about them from a logical standpoint, but has never taken one. Kakashi had told her that relying on them means you’ll never learn your natural limits, and so will never be able to exceed them.

Sakura takes the pill. Kakashi isn’t here right now. She can’t imagine what he would think if he was. The ache in her muscles begins to recede. She lands on the next branch and springs forward with renewed vigour.

She is _not_ going to fall behind.

The Sound Four drop into a clearing, so Sakura follows suit, landing next to Sasuke in a crouch.

“Sasuke-sama… I think this will be a good place. We’ve gone far enough from Konoha.” The silver-haired boy says.

“What is it?” Sasuke asks. Sakura can see how tense the muscles in his arms are, despite the casual way he’s standing.

“Well, we’ve got an important order from Orochimaru-sama. The last and final one.”

“I’m asking what the hell that is!” Sasuke snaps.

Sakura winces. He’s gotten them into enough trouble on missions with his brusqueness. Sakura or Kakashi always end up having to step in to smooth things over.

The Sound Four are silent.

Sakura fights the urge to fidget. Orochimaru couldn’t have predicted her presence. There’s no way the final order is for Sasuke to get rid of her. Surely not?

The boy smirks, his painted lips glinting in the dawning sunlight. “You must die once.”

Sakura jolts, her hands raising reflexively as if in defence. When no one comes at Sasuke with a kunai, she forces her shoulders back down, breathing out hard. She’s not ready for a fight. She’s got some wire, a half-full kunai holster and some medicinal herbs. There has to be something she can do.

“You’re telling me to… die once?” Sasuke says incredulously.

The boy pulls something from his pocket. “Seishingan. I’ll have you take this.”

“What the hell is that?”

“Your current cursed seal is level one. That pill will forcefully increase the curse’s level to two.” The girl speaks up, hand on hip, deceptively casual. Sakura can read the tension in the lines of her body.

“However, the level two seal will dramatically increase its contamination speed. If we don’t do anything, you will die.” The silver-haired boy says, uncharacteristically solemn. “In other words, in order to control the level two power, your body needs some time to adjust. With the level two curse, you will probably possess the same level of strength as us. When the seal is awakened, there will only be a few minutes… until you ‘die.’”

Sakura’s breathing is rapid and shallow. She can’t force it to slow down. Everything feels surreal, like a bizarre dream that feels strange even while you’re sleeping. She wishes she could just wake up and find herself at home, in bed, knowing Sasuke is already up and training, Naruto is sound asleep and Kakashi is reading on a nearby rooftop.

“What’ll happen after I die?” Sasuke asks after a moment of strained silence. He glances at Sakura, his lips flattening to a white line.

“Don’t worry. That’s what we’re here for.”

The boy explains about their barrier jutsu and how it’ll be no problem for them to protect him. Sasuke, predictably, questions their skills. Sakura notices that they take care to call him ‘Sasuke-sama’ even after he’s rude to them. They must have been ordered to stay on his good side. Unluckily for them, he doesn’t have one.

“I’ll be comatose, then?” Sasuke says, displeased. He shakes his head. “Fine. But just know, if I wake up and something’s happened to Sakura, you’ll have to explain to Orochimaru why you had to kill me. I bet that’s something we all want to avoid, right?”

The Sound Four shift on their feet, suddenly looking everywhere but at Sakura.

“Will it hurt?” Sakura asks, her voice soft.

“What?” The silver-haired boy says gruffly.

“Taking the pill. Will it hurt Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke scowls. He hates it when she worries about him, but given the fact that this will actually _kill_ him, Sakura thinks she’s entitled to a little concern.

“Not any more than he can handle, I’m sure.”

Sasuke shakes a pill out of the bottle and stares at it, stark against his white palm. Sakura touches his sleeve lightly, used to only being permitted the slightest of touches. Sasuke pushes his arm back against her hand, and for a moment her fingers curl around his forearm, feeling his warmth leech into her skin.

She meets his eyes, hoping she can communicate her feelings with this one look. He nods back at her, then gently extricates himself from her grip.

“Don’t look back.” Is the last thing he says to her before he tips the pill into his mouth and all hell breaks loose.

***

Hello, friends.

This plotbunny kept biting me and I just had to write it :/

I hope those who made it this far enjoyed it! This is basically my attempt to make Sasuke likeable again (or at least not a murderous arsebiscuit) and for SasuSaku to make sense. (Just another wish fulfilment fic for me!) This whole thing was inspired by me noticing Sakura actually asks Sasuke to take her with him, though Sasuke obviously ignores her in canon. I hadn’t read that scene in years and genuinely couldn’t remember what was said in it, so I couldn’t help but wonder when I reread it 1) Was Sakura serious or just saying whatever she could to try to persuade Sasuke to stay? And 2) What would have happened if Sasuke said yes?

I have quite a few ideas for Sakura’s development, both combat and personality-wise. She’s not going to be a carbon copy of Tsunade, since she left Konoha instead of asking to be her apprentice. I really like the plan I’ve got for her, but I’m open to suggestions :) I’ve not got a lot of plot planned out, just a fair few ideas and scenes I’d like to include.

There’s no huge change that pushed Sasuke to accept Sakura’s offer this time around, just a slightly different conversation.

 **Quick poll for fun:** Who has the best character development in Naruto?

(If you don’t think any of the character development is good, whose would you rewrite if you could?)


	2. Chapter 2

The Sound Four had dragged Sakura off Sasuke after he collapsed, rolling their eyes at her weeping. They summoned a barrel and carefully lifted Sasuke into it, already wary of his wrath, then they sealed him in.

Sakura tries to touch the barrel, certain that Sasuke’s corpse is inside, but the redheaded girl hauls her away, keeping a hand firmly on her shoulder.

“Alright. First step’s done.” The silver-haired boy sighs, wiping his hands on his shirt. “Jirobo, you carry him.”

 _They wouldn’t waste time with a corpse, Orochimaru wants him_ alive, _stupid,_ Sakura chastises herself, blinking furiously to stop the tears.

The large boy picks up the barrel as if it weighs nothing, then slings it on his back without complaint.

“So, your name is Jirobo?” Sakura says timidly, managing to smile at him. “I’m Sakura.”

“Who the fuck cares?” The girl groans. “Can we not stop for fucking chit-chat, please? Let’s just get on with it.”

“Tayuya, girls shouldn’t talk like that.” Jirobo chastises her.

“Well, why not?” Sakura frowns. It’s not like _she’d_ ever dare use that word, but it’s because her mother would give her The Look, not because she’s a girl.

Tayuya laughs. “See, flower girl agrees with me! So, you can shut your mouth, fatass!”

Sakura cringes. “That wasn’t what I meant…”

“We’ve got time for introductions. I’m Sakon.” The silver-haired boy says. He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. “This is Ukon.”

Sakura stares blankly.

Sakon cracks a grin and turns his head a little, revealing a bump with silver hair…

_Oh._

Sakura averts her eyes, unsure of the rules when someone has two heads. Is it polite to not to look, or…?

“Hello.” She says, wiping her sweaty palms on her dress. “I’m Haruno Sakura. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Kidomaru.” The last of them says, waving two of his six arms, his grin cock-eyed. Sakura _had_ noticed them, but had deliberately ignored them, as she did with Lee’s eyebrows.

“Now, let’s move the fuck on already!” Tayuya snarls, shoving past Sakura.

For all her impatience, they don’t set off on another run. This pace is a lot more bearable. Sakura spends her time identifying the types of trees they pass by. She doesn’t know what Otogakure is like. It might be like Suna, arid and devoid of all the greenery she’s used to.

 _This is just another mission,_ Sakura tells herself, _just like leaving Konoha to complete a mission._

She might come home one day. She might not. That was true of every mission. She has to do this.

 _Don’t look back,_ Sasuke had said.

She doesn’t.

Sakon starts violently, head whipping to the right as if he’d heard something. “Damn it… this means trouble.”

“One, maybe two of them.” Tayuya stares in the same direction.

Sakura can’t see or hear anything. She shifts closer to Jirobo, placing a hand on Sasuke’s barrel.

“They’re coming!” Kidomaru burst out, snarling in anticipation.

They all leap apart, Jirobo’s thick arm coming around Sakura’s waist and hauling her back with him.

Two Konoha nin intercept them, cutting off their escape.

Sakura’s nails dig into the arm that’s holding her in the air. She can’t breathe. That’s Genma, the proctor of the Chuunin Exam’s second stage. How could Konoha already know what happened?

Genma’s eyes flick across her pale, horrified face, the desperate way she clutches Jirobo’s arm. He’s coming to the wrong conclusion, she can see it in the narrowing of his eyes, the flick of his senbon. She’s still wearing her hitae-ate in plain view. She looks like a kidnap victim, not a willing traitor.

She wants to shout the truth, but the words die in her throat. She can’t break the illusion that she’s innocent in all this. But if Naruto believes she’s been taken, won’t he worry about her more than if he knew she had left on her own?

“You are Orochimaru’s…” The scarred nin says, comprehension dawning on his face.

“On your way back from Konoha, eh?” Genma says. “With a genin… and what’s inside that barrel?”

“Two jounin are a bit of a heavy load.” Kidomaru grins, looking thrilled at the prospect of a good fight.

All four of them activate their cursed seals, ink blotches spreading across their skin. Jirobo doesn’t put Sakura down, just hoists her more securely in his grip.

Sakura closes her eyes as the fighting starts, burying her face in Jirobo’s shoulder. She cannot watch her fellow nin be slaughtered.

No. Not her fellow nin. She lets out a dry sob, unable to cry anymore. Her tears are all spent. She’s not a shinobi of Konoha anymore.

When they fall, Sakura doesn’t feel anything at all.

It’s just another mission.

And a shinobi possesses a heart that never shows tears.

xxxxxxxx

Jirobo finally puts her down at the base of a tree, then flops to the ground, panting. The rest of the Sound Four follow suit, plainly exhausted after their fight with the Konoha nin.

 _Good,_ Sakura thinks, surprised at her own viciousness.

“Shit.” Tayuya growls, knocking her head against the tree she’s leaning against. “That was too fucking close. They were better than I thought they’d be.”

“Good thing they were distracted.” Kidomaru jerks his head at Sakura. “I don’t think they were going all out, not wanting to hurt the kid.”

“Why didn’t you put her down, fatass?” Tayuya demands. “I wanted to see what she’d do! Bet you anything she would’ve just curled up and cried on the ground rather than fight.”

Sakura doesn’t say anything. Her gaze is a hundred miles away, at home.

“If she dies, so do we.” Jirobo says evenly. “Sasuke-sama made that clear.”

“I didn’t think a little shit like that would care about his teammates. You his girlfriend?” Tayuya smirks.

Sakura drags her nails against her mouth. Just like every other mission, she’s unscathed while the people around her are hurt. It doesn’t seem fair.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch!”

“You don’t care about my answer, so why push for it?” Sakura finally responds, too drained to even look at her. Her body feels as though it’s made of lead. The long run must be catching up to her. Either that or the grief in her heart is weighing her down.

Tayuya laughs. “Ooh, has the little flower got thorns?”

_I wish. I’d carry Sasuke away myself if I could. I’d find a way to keep him safe and happy that didn’t involve murderers and traitors._

“Nothing so useful.” Sakura sighs. She wishes Naruto was here. As silly and loud as he could be, there was something comforting about his presence. The world is never so bright than when he is around.

She’s not sure how long they lie there for. She barely pays attention when Kidomaru starts setting up traps, creating a large perimeter around them. She’s so tired. She’s still next to Jirobo, and in turn, Sasuke. She presses a hand against the barrel again. It feels warmer than before. She hopes he’s okay.

She jumps violently when Sakon throws a kunai, just barely managing to shield her eyes as an explosion goes off. The noise resonates through the area, her stomach clenching in response. What now? Had the jounin survived after all and chased them here?

The arm that winds around her is almost predictable, this time round. Sakura still doesn’t appreciate being lifted into the air at every sign of trouble.

She hangs over Jirobo’s shoulder, her lower half pressing against the barrel. Heat sears her thigh. It must be troubling Jirobo too, though he doesn’t show it.

The smoke from the explosion clears.

Sakura’s heart drops.

Shikamaru and Neji are sprawled out on the ground, both singed and battered.

“Eh, what’s this?” Tayuya says gleefully. “Poked the bush and got two bugs instead of rabbits.”

Jirobo readies himself for a fight. Shikamaru’s eyes snap to him, hands already lifting in a placating manner.

His eyes widen as they fall on Sakura. She stares back hopelessly, aware that his quick mind will figure it out regardless of what she does.

But his jaw tightens and he visibly has to swallow an outburst down. He lifts his hands again. “We didn’t come for a fight. We came to negotiate.”

“Hmph. Then what are these?” Kidomaru asks, flinging his arm forward.

Three figures fly into sight, crashing down hard on the ground.

_No. No. Anyone but him._

Before Naruto can recover and spot Sakura, Kiba tosses a smoke bomb.

“Haha… what good is that smoke bomb?” Kidomaru snorts.

Shadows fly across the ground, ensnaring each and every one of them. Sakura feels a flicker of hope, then grits her teeth. What exactly is she hoping for here? A rescue? From her own choices? No. _Don’t look back._

Sakon throws Shikamaru’s words back at him and breaks his jutsu without even moving. _See? What good is hope? It’s better to just do what you can and trust in yourself._

Jirobo slams his hands on the ground, Sakura barely managing to throw her arms around his neck in time to save herself a fall.

She can’t cry anymore, but she feels the familiar prick of tears. Her fellow genin are all trapped in a rock prison, but at least Naruto didn’t see her. _Thank goodness,_ she thinks.

“I’ll take care of these guys.” Jirobo says. “I wanna recover even if it’s only a little.”

Sakura slides off his back, strangely unconcerned about Naruto and the others. She knows they’ll be okay. Naruto is strong. She actually feels worried about _Jirobo_.

She pats him on the arm, pitching her voice low in case the genin can hear through the rock. “Be careful.”

Jirobo inclines his head slowly, seeming a little confused by the gesture of concern.

She’s confused, too.

“Well, catch up with us as soon as you’re done eating.” Kidomaru tosses back carelessly, walking away with the others. “We’re gonna head out.”

Kidomaru hauls the barrel onto his back, so Sakura automatically gravitates towards him. He gives her an amused look, but says nothing.

 _Naruto will probably talk his way out of that dome, and then he’ll make friends with Jirobo somehow,_ Sakura thinks, smiling slightly, _that’s his cool side, after all._

xxxxxxxx

It takes a while for Jirobo to catch up.

Kidomaru is fast, and it’s hard to match his pace. Sakura won’t quit, though. She’s been travelling by tree a lot longer than these guys, so even though she’s the slowest by far, her form is the best and she never hesitates. Tayuya has given her a few soldier pills since the first, despite her sour looks and gruff disposition. Sakura feels adrenaline racing through her.

She’s still the weak link, but she’s not been left behind.

Still, an hour in, and Kidomaru hauls her to him again. She stumbles, nearly falling off the branch, and the whole group stops.

“Someone’s coming.” Kidomaru says. His hand is an iron shackle around her wrist, there’s no getting away from him.

For the first time, it occurs to Sakura that the four of them might be worried about her going back to her former allies. They don’t know Sasuke, after all. As far as they know, he’ll turn on them even if Sakura left of her own accord. To them, he’s a loose cannon and they’ll do anything to avoid setting him off.

She’s essentially a prisoner, now.

“It’s Jirobo.” Kidomaru says, his grip on her wrist slackening slightly.

“What took you so long?” Sakon says.

“Sorry… it took some time to take those bastards’ chakra away.” Jirobo huffs. His eyes fall on Kidomaru’s hand on Sakura’s wrist.

“You fatty, don’t be so slow! Hurry up and carry that barrel, that’s your job. You inferior dickhead!” Tayuya huffs.

“Yeah…” Jirobo says simply.

Sakura frowns in confusion. Where was the sanctimonious lecture about cursing?

“Hey Jirobo… you’re so obedient today.” Kidomaru remarks.

“…What?” The bigger man says.

“I’m saying I can’t let you carry this barrel, since you’re not Jirobo!” Kidomaru grins, leaping back. Sakura yelps as she’s dragged with him.

“Damn!” Not-Jirobo yells, raising his fists.

Kidomaru shoves Sakura at Sakon, then tosses the barrel at Tayuya. “Let me handle it this time! You guys go on ahead!”

Sakon spins Sakura around, slinging her arm around his shoulders, then leaps higher into the trees.

 _Did Naruto see me?_ Sakura wonders, biting her lip. _Did Shikamaru tell him?_

xxxxxxxx

Sakura can’t move.

Tayuya refused to give her another pill.

Sakon simply hauled Sakura off her feet and kept going. Her arm is slack around his neck. She feels hot and weak, her eyelids sliding shut unbidden. She’s so tired. She wants nothing more than to slip to the ground and just _stop_.

There’s a thud from the barrel. Sakura’s eyes snap open.

“Hey, wait a second!” Tayuya says.

“Is it about to start?” Sakon asks, stopping in front of her. Sakura’s feet drag on the branch, unable to support her weight.

“No, it should take a bit longer, but…”

_Thud._

Sakura can barely lift her head. She sees Naruto, Kiba and Shikamaru through blurred eyes. Sweat drips down her forehead. She can’t quite see the look on Naruto’s face.

“Damn it, what were those idiots doing!” Tayuya yells. “They can’t stop a bunch of fucking genin?”

Sakon lets Sakura go abruptly, only Tayuya’s sudden grip on her hair keeping her from crashing to the ground.

“We’ve finally caught up!” Naruto growls. “You bastards… let my friends go!”

“Yeah, yeah! I’ll kill you all in seconds!” Sakon shoots towards them.

Tayuya’s grip on Sakura’s hair tightens painfully. It’s not enough to keep Sakura from slipping into unconsciousness.

She falls.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura wakes up with the sun in her eyes. She tries to shield them, but she can’t move her arms.

“You are valuable to Orochimaru-sama’s new vessel.” An unfamiliar voice says next to her ear. “So, please, do not move. I will take care of this one, and then I will escort you both to the base.”

A beautiful man with pale green eyes and white hair is leaning over her, holding her head in his palm. Sakura struggles to process his words. _Take care of this one,_ she thinks fuzzily, _who?_

“Hey, you! Give me back my friends, you piece of shit!” Naruto bellows.

“Naruto…” Sakura murmurs. The older man shifts, lowering her head to the ground. Grass rustles all around her. She breathes in the smell of antiseptic and sour sickness. Has he come straight from a hospital?

“Please, don’t hurt him.” She meets the stranger’s eyes, pleading silently. “What’s your name?”

In one class, years ago, the teacher had stressed the importance of establishing a connection with your captor if you are taken prisoner. Make eye contact, use their name, tell them yours. Anything to make them see you as a person, not a target.

She’s a prisoner after all.

The man looks back at her, head tilted. “Kimimaro. Excuse me for a moment, while I get rid of this nuisance.”

“No!” Sakura drags herself into a sitting position, biting back a gasp at the pain in her overused muscles. “Please. He’s my friend. I’m Haruno Sakura. If you hurt him, I’ll hurt myself the first chance I get, and you’ll get in trouble with Orochimaru, I swear!”

Kimimaro shrugs. “I will complete my mission. I will defend myself if necessary, and take you and the vessel back to the base. If your friend is hurt in the process, it will only be because of his own actions.”

“Naruto, please, you aren’t strong enough to beat him!” Sakura begs him to understand, but his eyes are red and his whisker marks have thickened. He has claws and fangs like Kiba. He doesn’t look prepared to listen.

“I have to save you, Sakura-chan!” Naruto yells, his voice heavy with emotion. “And I have to take Sasuke back home! I’m the only one who can do it!”

Sakura had hoped the same thing, back on the road leading out of Konoha. But that hadn’t turned out the way she had wanted it at all. Now she and Naruto are on opposing sides, and he has no idea.

“Kimimaro-san, please, I’ll do anything… I – I – if you’re sick, I have medicinal herbs and some tonics… would that be enough?”

Kimimaro’s pale lips twitch, like Sasuke’s when he’s trying not to smile.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid you can’t help me. I’m dying. This is my last mission. The reason I exist. I have to repay Orochimaru-sama for his kindness.”

 _I was born for one purpose,_ Sasuke had said.

Sakura almost wishes she had that kind of conviction, because right now, her purpose is split between Naruto and the barrel Kimimaro is protecting.

“Naruto, if you attack, all you’ll accomplish is getting yourself killed. You can’t do that, not if you’re going to be Hokage one day!” Sakura says emphatically, leaning against Sasuke’s barrel. Her muscles feel shredded. She pushed herself beyond her limit and now she’s paying the price.

“Are you saying I should just give up? Run away? Let that snake bastard take you both and just _watch_?” Naruto growls, his voice deepening in anger.

“I’m saying I can’t watch you _die_!” Sakura cries out, her voice breaking.

“And I can’t watch you leave.” Naruto says heavily. “Heh. I’m sorry, Sakura-chan, but I think you’re underestimating me. I’ve gotten pretty tough, you know?”

“I know.” Sakura says, smiling weakly. Naruto never failed to surprise her with his strength. If they survive today, she knows he’ll grow into a powerful shinobi. “Hey, Naruto? When I see you again, you’ll be even further down the path to becoming Hokage. I look forward to it.”

Naruto grins, but there’s tears in his eyes. “That day’s already here, Sakura-chan. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”

Sakura uses the sound of a thousand clones emerging to murmur to Kimimaro, “Don’t forget, if Naruto dies, so do I. And then where will your precious Orochimaru-sama be?”

She slips a tonic into Kimimaro’s hand. “That will ease whatever you’re suffering from. No one has to die today, okay?”

Kimimaro only looks at her in silence, slipping the tonic into his sleeve.

His reply is lost to the roar of Naruto’s army’s battle cry.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura watches grimly as Kimimaro methodically takes down each and every clone, his movements a graceful dance. If she didn’t already know he was ill, there’s no way she would guess it. He’s above Naruto in every level. He’s hopelessly outclassed.

Naruto won’t die, though.

Kimimaro is clearly devoted to Orochimaru and seems to believe Sakura is vital to one of his plans. Presumably one of the Sound Four told him as much while she was unconscious. Sakura still has her kunai holster. If the worst happens, all it should take is one kunai at her throat and Kimimaro will back down. He has to.

The barrel sears her skin, her arm blistering on contact. She falls away on instinct, holding back tears of agony.

The last clone bursts into smoke just as the barrel fizzes, emitting a strange purple fog. Sakura senses the same vile, overbearing chakra she last felt in the Forest of Death.

“It’s almost time. The first step of Orochimaru’s ambition.” Kimimaro says, a fanatical gleam in his eye.

Naruto and Sakura stare, horrified, as the seals around the lid of the barrel rip in two.

There is a deafening _boom_ , then a dark blur shoots out.

Sakura covers her mouth with her hands, watching the dispersing smoke reveal a dark, misshapen form.

_Sasuke._

The cursed seal recedes. Sasuke stares at his hands. Sakura can’t see his face. Her arm stings viciously against the open air.

“Sasuke… Sasuke, what the hell are you doing with these guys?!” Naruto yells, his voice breaking in desperation. “Let’s head back! Come on!”

“ _Ha ha… hahaha…_ ” Sasuke’s shoulders shake violently, his laughter quickly turning from incredulous delight to unhinged. The hairs on the back of Sakura’s neck stand up.

“Hey… Sasuke.” Naruto chokes out, his face more serious than Sakura has ever seen. He grits his teeth, “Can’t you hear me, damn it?!”

“Naruto, wait – ” Sakura reaches out for him, hissing in pain from the movement.

Sasuke’s head snaps up.

Sakura has no time to react. One second she’s kneeling down on the grass, trying to comfort Naruto, the next she is in Sasuke’s arms, his nails digging painfully into her burned skin.

Sasuke tears off into the woods, ignoring Naruto’s frantic cry.

Sakura watches leaves blur overhead, the only familiarity in a world gone mad.

Something is very wrong with Sasuke and there is nothing she can do but hold on and hope for the best.

***

Oh dear.

 So, this chapter is essentially one long game of Pass the Parcel with elite shinobi that goes terribly wrong. I know Sakura’s still quite passive, but she needs time to develop. She’s going to be a badass, I can promise you that (though the Sakura that stood in front of Tazuna, protected Naruto and Sasuke in the Forest of Death, and jumped in the way of a rampaging Gaara armed only with a kunai, is still very much a badass in my book. There’s something about a ‘weak’ person putting themselves in harm’s way that is _so_ strong, you know?)

I think there’s only one more chapter of me regurgitating the manga with a few changes here and there, and then we’ll be in solid AU territory. The Fun Zone. The wish fulfilment part of this fic for me is getting to give Sakura a bigger part in the story. Imagine if she’d been allowed on the Retrieve Sasuke mission! If it had been about Team Seven, not just Naruto and Sasuke’s Epic Rivalry/Bromance!

I completely forgot about the barrel until I reread the Retrieve Sasuke arc and nearly pissed myself laughing. He spent most of his time in a barrel, being tossed about and fought over! I love it. I also loved Sakura gravitating around the barrel and just generally being glued to it. My barrel.

 **Quick poll for fun:** If you had a summons, like Sasuke’s snake summons, what animal would they be?

I love foxes, so I’d have to have them. Maybe a fennec fox, for extra cute points? I could use them for scouting, and for pats. They would get so many pats.

(but then again maybe red pandas because they are just too darn adorable)


	3. Chapter 3

Sakura’s not sure how long Sasuke’s been running for.

She tried wriggling out of Sasuke’s grasp several times as he leapt through the trees, but his grip was iron and immovable. He didn’t look down at her even once, his eyes focused on the target ahead. It was almost like he’d forgotten she was even there. One of his eyes is unsettlingly alien, the sclera is black, the iris is gold. His curse seal has spread across his cheekbone, swirling into his hairline.

Naruto has always been on the periphery throughout the journey, his furious howls barely carried by the wind, always just one step behind them. Whatever happened to Sasuke in that barrel, it made him much, much faster than before.

Waterfalls are crashing all around them. Sakura knows where they are even before she sees the statues.

The Valley of the End.

Sakura hopes it’s not a sign of what’s to come.

Sasuke leaps up into the air, running up one of the statues. He lands on its head and finally stops, waiting.

“SASUKE!” Naruto bellows.

Sasuke’s grip tightens. Sakura bites back a cry of pain. He’s not himself. Something changed inside him when he took that pill, when he ‘died’ to strengthen Orochimaru’s seal.

Sasuke moves as if he’s about to leap off the statue.

Naruto snaps, “Are you running away?!”

He’s standing opposite them, fists clenched, glorious fury lighting up his face. His jaw is gritted, wiping away the smooth lines of his baby-fat cheeks. He looks older. For a moment, Sakura sees a flash of his future. He’ll be Hokage, of course. He’s always been a force of nature, and she imagines every Kage was the same when they were young. They must have stood out, just like Naruto, with his obnoxious declarations, endless determination and ever-flowing compassion for everyone around him, whether they were a friend, stranger or enemy.

She can’t swallow past the lump in her throat. She is going to miss him so much. Her stupid, wonderful best friend.

“Hey. Dobe. This time it’s you, huh?” Sasuke says, his voice flat and dead. His normal tone isn’t animated by any means, but there’s typically _some_ life in it – annoyance, reluctance, frustration. This isn’t that. This is _nothing._ It could be anyone standing in front of him, not Naruto, his best friend and constant rival.

Sakura doesn’t dare move. She desperately wants to break the silence, watching Naruto’s face contort and shift under the weight of strong emotion. He’s sweating. He’s looking straight at Sasuke, his eyes wide and disbelieving. Sakura looks up at Sasuke, certain she’ll find him staring back at Naruto.

Instead, he is looking down at her.

Her heart jolts.

It’s not anticipation or excitement that her beloved Sasuke is looking at her. It’s something closer to fear.

Sasuke’s mismatched eyes burn through hers in a steady, unwavering gaze. She’s not sure what he’s seeing – her, or something else?

Naruto makes a noise, half confusion, half protest, and Sasuke’s eyes snap upwards.

“Leave me alone, dobe.” Sasuke says, then chuckles at the stricken expression on Naruto’s face. “What? What’s that look for?”

Naruto is silent for a long moment, visibly struggling not to cry. He’s clamped his mouth shut, his brows furrowed so hard it must hurt.

 _If only Kakashi was here,_ Sakura thinks, _as broken and mismatched as Team Seven was, we always managed to pull together in the end, every time. Just in time. But only if we were_ all _together. If he was here, he would chastise Sasuke in that mild way of his, embarrassing Sasuke enough to snap him out of this state, but not so much that he would lash out. Kakashi would put a hand on Naruto’s shoulder, tell him to buck up and not let Sasuke get to him. What would he say to_ me _? Don’t cry, Sakura._

 _I’m not crying,_ she thinks grimly, _not this time._

“Why?” Naruto chokes out. “Sasuke…”

Sasuke’s grip has slackened. Sakura thinks she might be able to break free if she takes him by surprise. But then what? She would make the leap to Naruto’s statue? Go back on her promise to Sasuke? No. She would stand by Sasuke’s side. On her own feet, not trapped in his arms.

“Hey! What’s wrong with you?!” Naruto yells.

“What’s wrong with me… is none of your business. I have my own path. I have no obligation… to you or anyone.” Sasuke says tonelessly.

Unexpectedly, Sakura feels a stab of hurt. He has no obligation to her, but she has sworn herself to him. Will whatever lies between them always be so fragile and unbalanced, with him standing tall and speaking for himself, Sakura forced to just sit still and wait for it all to be over?

“Let me make this clear… I’m done playing with the Konohagakure crowd.” Sasuke murmurs, barely audible over the crashing waterfall. “ _Go home._ ”

Naruto flinches.

 _What did he think would happen?_ Sakura wonders, looking away from his hurt gaze, _that Sasuke would agree to come home? Or that they would fight, Naruto would win and drag him back? And then what?_

It felt like Sasuke had always been on this course, heading to Orochimaru, and by the time the rest of them realised, he was already far beyond their reach. He had, for his own reasons, taken Sakura with him, but he still picked the path, she just followed. She was as lost as Naruto, just as far from the familiar Sasuke they both knew and loved.

“Chouji… Neji, Kiba, Shikamaru, Lee… they risked their lives for you…” Naruto says, his voice wrecked.

 _Lee_? Sakura’s stomach clenches. Where was he in all this? Naruto said he had risked his life, what if something had happened to him and Sakura would never know?

“And?” Sasuke says.

Sakura starts to tremble.

The horror and fury beginning to rise in her are no match for the roaring fire of Naruto’s reaction. His chakra explodes as he finally snaps, leaping into the air and _screaming_ , “DOES KONOHA MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!”

Sasuke tosses Sakura aside as Naruto lands a solid blow, knocking Sasuke back halfway across the statue’s skull. Sakura was ready for it, rolling to lessen the impact of the fall, nails scraping against stone as she catches herself.

Naruto lunges for Sasuke’s fallen form, drawing his fist back and punching him so hard his teeth clack against each other. Sakura crouches, taking a tonic out of her pouch. It’s not the same as the one she gave to Kimimaro, that was more of a balm to soothe symptoms of most diseases.

Sakura puts the neck of the bottle between her teeth and waits, watching for the boys’ next move. The cool glass against her tongue is comforting at first, but then it reminds her of the burn on her arm. It feels as though heat is trapped under her skin, a miniature fire burning within. She bites down on the cork, preparing to tear it off and down the contents. Her muscles are still screaming at her for all the torture she’s put them through on this journey. If she had ever once trained outside of Team Seven’s allocated time with Kakashi, perhaps she wouldn’t be suffering as was. If pain is a reminder of one’s shortcomings, then it must be useful. Even scars have silver linings.

 _Lesson learned,_ Sakura thinks, crouching like a predator waiting to pounce. She won’t let herself be put in this position ever again.

Sasuke spits blood in Naruto’s face. The blond boy snarls, hauling Sasuke up by his shirt.

“Did playing around with my so-called comrades make me any stronger?” Sasuke taunts. Naruto stares at him disbelievingly. Hasn’t he realised it yet? This isn’t Sasuke anymore. “I’m going to Orochimaru!” Sasuke declares.

“Orochimaru killed the Sandaime and tried to destroy Konoha! Do you think he’s just gonna give you power for free? He wants you for a host body! You might not be able to come back! You might be killed! _You think I’m just gonna let you **go**_?!” Naruto shouts, his voice bursting from him like he just can’t hold back anymore.

“Doesn’t matter…” Sasuke murmurs. “As long as I achieve my goal, that’s enough. If you’re gonna stand in the way… then I have no choice…”

Sakura rips the cork out of the bottle and drinks the tonic. It’s like an anaesthetic that doesn’t render the user insensate. It will dampen her ability to sense pain, which will help her ignore wounds and keep fighting. It’s only dangerous if she doesn’t mentally keep track of every injury she has received.

“You can’t do this! I’ll take you back by force if I have to!” Naruto bellows, glaring straight into Sasuke’s infuriatingly blank face.

 _He doesn’t care,_ Sakura thinks, _he really, truly, does not care._

Sasuke laughs again. The last person Sakura heard laugh like that was a man from the Forest of Death, who held their lives in the palm of his hand and laughed because he found their horror amusing.

“Come to think of it…” Sasuke muses. “We were interrupted last time.”

Naruto freezes, then turns to look at Sakura.

Good. He’s not forgotten her presence, then. Sakura can’t bring herself to smile at him. Her mouth feels unresponsive, like a missing limb. She manages to grimace, a brief twitch of her lips.

Sasuke’s dead eyes flicker to her face. Sakura swallows, but nods in acknowledgement. She’s not changed her mind. She’s picked her side. Not because Sasuke’s in the right, or because she loves him more. Because he _needs_ her in a way no one else does. Naruto inspires love and hope in everyone he knows, he doesn’t need another friend. Kakashi needs a useless, deadweight student like he needs a hole in the head. Ino is popular and well-loved for good reason. She doesn’t need a friend who would stab in her the back for a boy.

Sasuke needs a friend who will stick by him no matter how dark his path gets. That way, he will always have someone to take him back to the light.

“That wasn’t my choice. Even now…” Naruto grits his teeth.

“Who cares what you want?” Sasuke raises his eyebrows, twisting his grip until his knuckles crack and the stitches in Naruto’s jacket begin to tear. He stands, Naruto’s eyes widening as he is lifted by one hand.

Sasuke drops him just as he swings with his other fist, letting it connect with Naruto’s stomach in perfect timing. Naruto spews blood, eyes glazing over. He goes flying.

Sakura bites down on her bottom lip, letting her mouth fill with sympathetic blood. Her fingers scrabble at her stomach, sucking it in at the thought of Sasuke’s rock-hard fist sinking into her flesh. _This isn’t what I wanted_ , Sakura thought. She can’t feel the ache of her split lip. _Shame._

Still, she walks to Sasuke, every step feeling heavier than the last. He’s staring at his hand, amazed at his own power.

He flinches, the curse seal receding.

Sakura remembers the way the marks reacted to her touch back in the forest, when he was just as cruel and uncaring, preying on their former predators with savage glee.

She touches his arm slowly, giving him more than enough time to move out of the way. He doesn’t. Her fingers curl around his bicep.

He gives her a look of fierce satisfaction, eyes flashing, “So, this is what Orochimaru was talking about… My body’s adapting already! So much power already, Sakura… once the curse mark is unsealed, how powerful will I be?”

Her muscles don’t hurt anymore. She doesn’t feel the bone-deep weariness from the journey or the stress. So why does she feel _so_ tired? Tired enough to sink into the rock below and keep going, to get away from the manic glee in Sasuke’s eyes, the way she is a part of this, complicit, active, on the other end of the blade pointed to Konoha. She wants to close her eyes and forget last night ever happened, to imagine this morning was brought by birdsong and the gentle rustle of leaves, the sound of home, not the crack of Naruto’s bones breaking against Sasuke’s fist, the hiss of the waterfall separating them.

She can’t sleep. She can’t forget. She made her choice and although it didn’t turn out the way she had hoped, she’s still _here_. That means she can still do something. Anything.

Sasuke’s head jerks. There’s a splash from far below, where Naruto landed in the water. He claws his way out, sending a bone-chilling glare up. Sasuke’s muscles tense under Sakura’s hand.

Naruto shoots up the statue, throwing himself high in the air. Sasuke leaps to meet him. Sakura stays put, watching and waiting for a chance to intercede. The moment Sasuke had referred to before, when she interrupted their impromptu death match on the hospital roof, all she had managed to do was throw herself in the way of their attacks. If Kakashi hadn’t intervened, they would have killed her. It’s possible her body would have blocked both blows enough to spare them from each other’s attack, but if death is all she can offer them, what’s the point of waiting for it? She may as well toss herself off the statue now, trying to break up their fight once more.

No. All she has now is her mind. She can watch, she can wait.

One day she will be strong enough to carve her own path and seize her own choices.

Until then, she’ll wait.

xxxxxxxx

By the time she makes it down from the statue, Sasuke’s hand is soaked in Naruto’s blood. Sakura is breathing heavily from the exertion of maintaining her chakra-enhanced grip on the stone, knowing a fall could prove fatal. Still, she made it.

Sasuke looks smug, like he already knows the fight is over. Naruto is slumped, dangling from Sasuke’s fist. It looks like it went right through one of his lungs. Sakura bites down again. _Do something,_ she urges herself, _do **anything**_!

“Sasuke-kun!” She calls out, running across the water to meet them.

Sasuke looks over Naruto’s shoulder. That moment of inattention costs him dearly.

Naruto grips his hand, crushing it. Scarlet chakra erupts from him, pushing him away from Sasuke, who reels backwards, stunned. Naruto bares his teeth, his growl like a roll of thunder.

Naruto roars, “SASUKE! OROCHIMARU CAN’T HAVE YOU! I’M GONNA BRING YOU HOME SAFE IF I HAVE TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!”

He’s sobbing. His eyes are red and his teeth look sharp, but he’s sobbing and Sakura’s heart is breaking all over again.

“What…” Sasuke takes a step back, astounded. “Tell me, what are you?!”

“Your friend.” Naruto says simply, his voice layered with a bestial tone. “That’s what I’ve been telling you. Filth like Orochimaru can’t have you! We’re Team Seven, you, me, Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei! You’re meant to be with us! And that’s why I’m gonna stop you… even if I have to break your every limb!”

“Naruto, stop, just _listen_ to me – ” Sakura says sharply, but her words go unheard as Naruto charges.

Sasuke braces himself, but Sakura is tired and numb and _she’s never going home again._

Naruto looks astonished. Sakura stepped in the way again, just like on the rooftop, only this time she’s not crying. She looks right at him, unflinching.

“I said, listen.” She says, her voice hard. “You can’t win this fight, Naruto. I don’t know what kekkei genkai you’ve got that’s given you this power, but it can’t rival Orochimaru’s curse. For your own sake, you have to let us go.”

“…Let you go?” Naruto repeats, bewildered. “But he took you, Sakura-chan!”

“Think about it, Naruto.” She says wearily. “Would Sasuke-kun do that? Why would he even want to?”

Naruto obviously doesn’t understand.

She’s going to have to explain.

The lump in her throat threatens to choke her. “I left Konoha by choice, Naruto.”

Sasuke walks up and stands by her side. They don’t look at each other.

Naruto gapes, fresh tears springing in his scarlet eyes. “ _No._ ”

“Yes. I’m sorry, Naruto, but Sasuke needed me.”

“What about me? What about what I need?” Naruto’s shoulders start to shake.

“Who cares what you need?” Sasuke sneers.

“I do, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura chides him, her voice soft. His mouth snaps shut. “You’re my friend, Naruto. I’m not choosing Sasuke-kun over you. If I could choose, we’d all go home together right now. But Sasuke-kun’s mission takes him out of Konoha. It’ll be long, and dangerous, and he’ll probably be forced to do some terrible things for the sake of power. After everything we’ve been through together… I can’t abandon him to that fate alone.”

“Sakura-chan…”

“I gave you the chance to leave, dobe.” Sasuke says. “But now I think I’ll kill you – ”

“Do that, and I die next.” Sakura says sharply.

Sasuke’s eyes shoot to hers. Something exchanges between them wordlessly. Naruto’s life is tied to hers. Sasuke has to be able to see that.

“Fine.” Sasuke grunts. “I’ll just test my abilities. Don’t get in my way, Sakura.”

“Don’t be so cocky, asshole!” Naruto growls. “One last time, you and me!” Blue chakra begins to rapidly swirl in the palm of his hand.

Sasuke smirks, lightning flashing in his grip. “This is the end.”

Sakura steps back wordlessly, watching them square up against each other, so intently focused on their opponent that they don’t even notice her clear the field. If she’d stayed still, would they have ploughed through her, regardless?

Sakura isn’t strong. Not yet. All she can do is watch and wait, and use what she has observed.

Naruto and Sasuke charge at each other.

Sakura steps forward once more.

She saw how Kakashi dealt with this. She’s not as fast or as strong as he is, but all she can do now is _try_. That has to be good enough.

Naruto tries to stop. She can see his eyes widening, the slit pupils dilating. She’s facing him, so she can’t see how Sasuke reacts. She hopes he cares that she could die.

She won’t, though.

She grabs Naruto’s wrist, calculating the angle of his strike, then ducks Sasuke’s blow, snatching his wrist too. Chidori burns through her hip, Naruto’s chakra ripping through her shoulder. She can’t feel the pain.

Adrenaline pumps through her veins. She twists and throws the two apart with all her might, all of the bottled emotions from the last nightmarish few hours coming out in a scream of fury.

Sasuke crashes into the water, his chidori spluttering and dying at once. Naruto isn’t so lucky, hitting the rockface head-on.

Sasuke hauls himself up, wincing as if in pain. His hitae-ate is scratched. He looks up at her, fury and shocked awe mingling in his eyes. She grits her teeth, then offers him a hand. He scoffs, pushing it aside, then wobbles, grabbing onto her neck to keep upright. Sakura steadies him. She’s bleeding from two places, her hip and shoulder. Sasuke hasn’t noticed yet. _Good_ , she thinks, _let him rely on me for a little longer._

Naruto is lying on his back in a wavering patch of sunlight.

Sasuke and Sakura look down at him. The moment is too heavy for words, so they don’t break the silence. Naruto looks so young, sleeping soundly, unaware of the world around him. Sakura wants to tuck him up in bed and keep him safe. She wants to drag him home. She has to leave him.

Sasuke’s hitae-ate unfurls, landing on Naruto’s chest.

Sasuke is trembling. Sakura pretends not to notice, tightening her grip on his arm.

“Naruto.” Sasuke says quietly.

Sakura chokes down a sob.

The heavens open.

The rain splatters down, soaking them at once. Naruto’s hair shines like burnished gold.

“ _Agh_!” Sasuke cries out, clutching his shoulder. Sakura struggles to keep him from plunging to the ground. He coughs blood. Sakura bites her lip.

Sasuke’s face twists in agony. He shakes it off, holding his hand out. Sakura looks at it blankly, uncertain.

“Your hitae-ate.” He says roughly. “Give it to me.”

It’s like ice in her veins.

Naruto is alive, she can see his chest rising and falling with every breath. They haven’t lost him. But her hitae-ate is her connection to her home, a symbol of her proudest achievement. Losing that…

Sasuke stares at her expectantly. His eyes are back to normal, dark and familiar.

Sakura can’t bring herself to look at Naruto as she unties her hitae-ate and hands it over.

Sasuke takes out a kunai, but Sakura’s hand covers his. His eyes rise to meet hers.

“No.” She says shakily. “Please. Leave it unmarked.”

His knuckles whiten against the kunai. For one breathless moment, she’s sure he’s going to disregard her request, but then he shoves it back in the holster and carelessly drops the hitae-ate. It lands next to Naruto’s face. Sakura’s heart squeezes in her chest.

“Sakura.” Sasuke says. “Are you with me?”

“Where else would I be?” Sakura asks.

xxxxxxxx

A man with bandages wrapped around his face greets them, tufts of white hair poking out. Kabuto is by his side, dark eyes firmly on Sakura. She can’t read his expression at all. She’s patched up her wounds as best she could, but she’s starting to feel them now as the tonic wears off.

“You made it, Sasuke-kun.” The white-haired man rasps, the voice of Orochimaru, and Sakura can’t supress the shiver that runs through her. Sasuke inches closer to her, closing the distance between them.

“And who is this?” Orochimaru asks.

“Haruno Sakura.” Kabuto replies. “The kunoichi on Sasuke-kun’s team.”

“Of course, the girl from the forest.” Orochimaru gives a little chuckle, as if the mere memory of her is humorous. Sakura remembers their first meeting very differently, it seems. “And why are you here?”

“I go where Sasuke-kun goes.” Sakura says, her voice barely shaking at all.

“She’ll be useful.” Sasuke tosses his head, hands in his pockets.

He doesn’t ask for permission to keep her, he just acts as if it’s already been arranged. Sakura wonders if confidence is built from sheer audacity. She also wonders why the thought of being ‘kept’ by Sasuke doesn’t make her happy.

Sakura deliberately relaxes her hands, shoving down the urge to clench them into sweaty fists. Orochimaru might decide she’s not worth keeping alive and then she’s dead. Sasuke is tired and injured and if he couldn’t even come close to defeating Orochimaru before, then there’s no way he could defend her now.

Sakura wishes her life didn’t depend so much on the people around her. She wants to be strong enough that people depend on _her_ instead. She wants to be a pillar Sasuke can lean on, not the weight dragging him down.

She decides there and then, in the silence that stretches between them, that if she survives this, she is going to be strong. The forest was only the beginning.

“What do you think, Kabuto-kun?” Orochimaru turns to the man by his side.

Kabuto tilts his head and examines Sakura from head to toe, her useless, aching body covered in filth and shuddering beneath his gaze. Kabuto saw her in the Chuunin Exam, he saw her draw against Ino and fail to achieve anything without her teammates hauling her forward. He saw her at her worst.

She’s as good as dead.

Sasuke is tense beside her. He thinks the same thing, then. Sakura meets Kabuto’s eyes, tired of flinching away. She pours every ounce of determination she has burning inside her and pushes it into her glare, throwing away her attempts to appear relaxed and just clenching her fists, daring him to damn her. The way she feels now, she’d leap at him rather than roll over and let it happen.

 _Do it,_ she thinks, glaring hotly at him, _say I’m weak, useless, worthless. Say I have to die. Do it and I’ll prove you wrong._

Kabuto’s glasses glint. A strange smile crosses his face.

“Sakura-chan is a genjutsu type with perfect chakra control.” Kabuto says. “Her taijutsu is poor, but she has a solid grasp on the fundamentals and simply requires a competent teacher. Kakashi-san had his hands full with Sasuke-kun, it seems. Sakura-chan’s true asset is her mind. She’s the only genin in the entire Exam who answered every single question correctly without cheating, on a test that was specifically designed to be impossible to complete alone.”

Sakura bites the inside of her mouth to stop it gaping open in shock. _What?_ She did that? Why did no one tell her? She hadn’t given her results a second thought after finding out the test itself was useless. She got everything right?

She looks at Sasuke to see if he’s as surprised as she is.

He isn’t. He smirks back at her. _She’ll be useful,_ he’d said. A warm feeling spreads through her chest. Maybe she would. Maybe she’d be more than that.

“Interesting. Did Kakashi not have time to play with little girls?” Orochimaru turns his eye on her, his tone gleefully mocking. “Were you supposed to die in that forest, Sakura-chan?”

“If I was, then for once I’m happy to have failed.” Sakura says without thinking, then balks. Right after Kabuto praised her mind, she spoke it freely in front of one of the most dangerous men in the world. He’s already proven himself to be unpredictable, what if he –

He laughs, a horrible choking rasp. “Poor thing. So unappreciated. You’d do well here. We’re where all the outcasts come to find a sense of belonging. Have you ever belonged anywhere, Sakura-chan?”

 _Yes, in the Rookie Nine,_ she thinks automatically, images of her classmates filling her mind. She had slotted neatly alongside them. But only ever at the side. Never in the front. Even when she had her own team, they outshone her by a mile. Kakashi barely ever looked at her. _Belonging?_ She thinks, _do you belong when you stand in the back, never excelling or standing out?_

Sakura looks down, brow furrowed. “I – I’m not sure.” She answers honestly.

“You could belong here.” Kabuto says gently, still so strangely civil for a traitor who tried to kill Naruto, who helped invade her home – _his_ home – without hesitation. Is that what it means to belong here?

Sakura can feel the warmth of Sasuke’s body, his arm almost touching hers. She’s here to stop him from walking a dark path, not to seek validation or a new home. She’s not going to be turned against Konoha. She’s going to do what she can. It’ll have to be enough.

“I’ll try.” Sakura says. “I hope I don’t disappoint.”

“Oh, I’m sure you won’t.” Orochimaru says, bandages stretching against his smile. Teeth shine through the bandages.

This time, Sakura doesn’t shudder.

***

Well, I made myself sad, writing this.

NO REGRETS.

And so begins Sasuke and Sakura’s new life in Oto! Should be fun! I’m sure everyone there is _super_ friendly and nice :D

I have planned a fair amount of Sakura’s development. I’m pretty excited about the skills she’s going to obtain and the changes she’ll go through! I always love reading stories that give Naruto, Sasuke or Sakura a different path in combat styles, so they don’t just end up as carbon copies of the Sannin. Sakura’s intelligence in particular gives her so much potential that could really go anywhere. One of Sakura’s most underrated qualities (in my opinion) is her kindness, so I’m going to emphasise the heck out of that.

I had to reread the entire Retrieve Sasuke arc for this and I did not enjoy seeing Lee and the rest of my favourites suffer, though watching the Sand Siblings kick but was pretty goddamn cool. Lee vs Gaara is still my absolute favourite fight in all of Naruto.

 **Quick poll for fun:** What’s your favourite pairing in Naruto?

If you can’t pick just one, pick as many as you’d like! I use to love Sasusaku more than anything when I was younger, but I wasn’t the biggest fan of how it developed (hence this fic, to take them in a slightly different direction)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Mentions of unhealthy attitudes towards food, starvation.

 

After Orochimaru dismisses them, Kabuto escorts them out. He tries to put his hand on Sakura’s back to guide her, but she practically leaps away from his touch. Sasuke just looks at him and he backs off with a wide, sheepish grin.

“Sorry, Sakura-chan. You must be a little jumpy after the journey you’ve had. Or is it your injuries that are bothering you?” Kabuto asks, his dark eyes flickering across her bandages.

Sasuke looks at her sharply, brows pulling together. He was a little out of it when she treated herself, leaning against a tree and trying to gather his bearings despite the pain of Orochimaru’s cursed seal. Sakura hadn’t wanted to show him her vulnerabilities anymore, so she’d dressed her wounds in silence, facing away from him.

Sasuke doesn’t say anything, perhaps aware that drawing attention to the fact that he had been in the dark about her wounds would reveal a flaw in their partnership.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Sakura says politely. “I just need some rest.”

“I’d still like to check the both of you over, if you don’t mind. Sasuke-kun is a valuable asset to Orochimaru-sama, and I would hate your potential to go to waste, Sakura-chan. There’s no sense in losing you to an easily treatable thing like infection.”

Sakura and Sasuke exchange looks. The logical choice was to say yes. Kabuto was a competent healer who had no reason to hurt either of them, not after Orochimaru had invited them both into the fold.

“Here’s the first rule you must follow: always report your injuries to me or one of my team. Sasuke-kun, you’re one step away from chakra exhaustion. Sakura-chan, you’re bleeding from two places.” Kabuto frowns at her, narrowing his eyes at her appearance.

Kabuto grabs her chin and tilts her head up – or rather, he _tries_ to, but the moment he moves, Sasuke’s hand clamps around his arm.

Kabuto spares him one, unimpressed glance, then breaks the hold with a flick of his wrist, snaring Sakura’s chin in one fluid movement. He looks straight into her eyes, his gaze assessing.

“What have you taken, Sakura-chan?” He asks.

Sakura fidgets. “Just a pain-numbing tonic. I had to be able to keep going, even if I was injured.”

“Do you still have the bottle?” Kabuto asks, sounding vaguely interested.

She digs it out of its pouch, holding the empty container up obligingly.

Kabuto takes it and throws it over his shoulder. Sakura stares at him, outraged.

“You have to be able to bear pain, Sakura-chan. It’s a natural part of the shinobi lifestyle, you can’t shrink away from it.”

“I _wasn’t_. It helped me, I saved – ”

Sasuke cuts her off, tugging her further down the corridor. Kabuto’s grip on her chin is broken.

“Are you going to be useful or just lecture us until she bleeds to death?” Sasuke says flatly, aiming a bored look at Kabuto.

Kabuto smiles at him, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise Sakura-chan’s wounds were so distressing to you, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow, not taking the bait.

Kabuto’s smile doesn’t waver, “But of course, you’re right. Let’s go to the infirmary before poor Sakura-chan passes out.”

“I’m _fine_.” Sakura insists. She feels a little light-headed, but the pain still hasn’t fully returned to her yet. Her hip and shoulder ache, but they should be unbearable agony. She’s fine.

“For Sasuke-kun’s sake, then.” Kabuto takes her elbow and begins to steer her down the corridor. Sasuke follows at his own pace, hands in pockets. He stopped limping the moment Orochimaru’s hideout came into view. Sakura’s still not sure whether the reminder of his purpose revived him or if he simply had no desire to show weakness.

The infirmary turns out to be fairly similar to one of Konoha’s hospital wards, a pristine space of neatly-made beds, scrubbed-down counters and endless shelves of medicine. It looks as though it could house around thirty or so patients at a time. There’s even curtains that can be pulled around beds for privacy, a surprising concession.

Kabuto seems right at home here, bustling around and checking on the handful of bedridden people in the room.

“Right, Sakura-chan, sit on the bed and take your clothes off, please.” Kabuto says politely.

Sakura freezes.

Sasuke narrows his eyes.

“Wh – why do you need – ” Sakura splutters, covering herself awkwardly. She knows she’s gone bright red. She can’t look at Sasuke.

“I’m not here to heal your _clothes_ , Sakura-chan, and they’re filthy and blood-stained as it is. Get unchanged, I’ll treat your wounds and provide you with something fresh to wear.” Kabuto says, business-like.

Sakura gives Sasuke a helpless look, “Sasuke-kun… can you leave the room?”

“No.” He grunts, unrelenting.

“Sasuke-kun!”

“How about if I just draw the curtain? Do you trust me not to immediately murder Sakura-chan the moment we’re out of sight?” Kabuto asks dryly.

Sasuke lets out a huff, looking away.

Sakura bites her lip. She feels strangely nervous at the thought of being separated from Sasuke, even if it’s just by a thin curtain. They’ve been together since they met on the road out of Konoha. She made sure to be near him even when he was out of sight, trapped in the barrel. Then the moment he was free, he grabbed her and took her with him. He _chose_ to take her, he didn’t just suffer her presence unwillingly.

Sasuke looks up just as the curtain comes around. They make eye contact for the briefest of seconds, green meeting black in a flash, then the white sheet falls between them.

Kabuto looks at her measuredly, hands on his hips. Then he steps out of the curtain for a moment, barking an order at someone out of sight.

He steps back in. She looks up at him, fearful. He gives her a gentle smile, bending down on his haunches to spread his hands on the mattress next to her. “Clothes off, please.”

Sakura nods shakily.

A rustle catches her attention. Sasuke’s arm is pressed against the curtain, barely visible through the thin material. Sakura takes a deep breath, shifting on the bed to press her arm against his, just for a second. The contact gives her a surge of bravery, especially when he doesn’t pull away.

She takes off her qipao dress in one quick move, not giving herself time to think about it. She tugs her shorts down a little, just enough to bare her injured hip, then covers her chest with her arms.

Kabuto’s attention is solely on her wounds. He makes a face at the sluggish flow of blood still coming from her shoulder. Her hip is a mess of burns and dried, coppery blood.

Someone murmurs quietly on the other side of the curtain, passing a bowl of water and cloth through.

Kabuto takes it and starts to gently clean Sakura’s wounds. The cloth sears her skin, but she doesn’t shrink away. The tonic has really started to wear off now. She focuses on the white cloth turning to rust at the touch of her blood, how methodically Kabuto rinses it off in the bowl.

Once he’s satisfied that he’s removed all of the blood from her skin, he applies a stinging cream to both wounds, the faint burn of it making Sakura hiss under her breath.

Then Kabuto places a firm hand on her shoulder. “Rasengan?” He murmurs. “Not the most pleasant of wounds to receive. Not particularly easy to heal, either, because of the way the flesh is stripped away. Why did Naruto-kun hurt you, Sakura-chan? Was he really that upset to see you leave?”

Sakura digs her nails into her shoulders. What was Kabuto implying? That it was odd Naruto would care at all that she was gone? Or was he just rubbing it in, how much she had hurt her best friend?

“He didn’t mean to do it.” Sakura says in clipped tones. “I didn’t give him a choice. He came at Sasuke-kun and I stepped in the way.”

Kabuto squeezes her shoulder, a little too hard to be comforting. “It’s unlike you to be foolish, Sakura-chan.”

“How do you know what I’m like?” Sakura asks, looking up to meet his dark eyes. Her brow is pinched in a pained frown that she can’t quite smooth away.

“I only know what I have observed. And I know you are a very smart girl, Sakura-chan. Too smart to throw your life away.”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“For now. And you will continue to be… if you are careful.”

“Is that a threat?” Sakura says, low and furious.

“If it was, there’s not much sense in voicing your suspicions aloud. If you aren’t strong enough to meet a threat head-on, it’s best to avoid acknowledging it altogether. Otherwise, you’ll turn it into a challenge you can’t face. And it wasn’t a threat, it was an observation. One you’d do well to heed.”

Any retort Sakura might have had is cut off by Kabuto pushing healing chakra into her shoulder. She can _feel_ how the wound is reducing, the healing process sped up exponentially. The skin thickens and hardens into a scar, a pale-pink whirlpool marring her shoulder.

When he touches her hip, the mark Sasuke left with his lightning, Sakura grits her teeth and looks away. She can almost hear the crackle it had made against her skin, how her flesh had bubbled and warped at that split-second of contact. Sasuke had burned his brand into her.

Kabuto smooths it away. Sakura looks down the moment she feels his chakra recede. The scar looks like a mass of white flames.

“Learn from this.” Kabuto says, tapping her hip. “Don’t let it happen again.”

Her dress is a crumpled heap on the floor. She can see the white circle she’s worn since she started at the Academy, the sign she bore as a mark of pride. Her hair keeps getting into her eyes without a headband to hold it back. She wishes for a moment that she had the ribbon Ino had given her.

“How did this happen?” Kabuto asks, ghosting a hand over the burn mark on her arm.

“I was sitting next to the barrel Sasuke was in, then Orochimaru’s chakra burst out and it scalded me.”

“Orochimaru- _sama_ ,” Kabuto corrects under his breath, “Don’t forget your place, Sakura-chan.”

“I know my place,” Sakura says with a flash of defiance, touching the burn mark she bore from staying at Sasuke’s side, “I won’t ever forget it.”

Kabuto’s lips quirk up. He reaches through the curtain, accepting something from the person on the other side, then turns and offers it to Sakura.

It’s a white shirt. She tugs it on at once, breathing a little easier the moment she’s less exposed. But she’s still just wearing dirt-encrusted shorts beneath a regular top, her bruised legs still far-too visible. She gives Kabuto a vaguely pleading look.

He chuckles, handing over another pair of shorts. They’re grey and a little longer than her old pair, with more pockets. Kabuto turns around without hesitation the moment her hands go to pull down her shorts. She pulls on the new pair gratefully.

Kabuto retrieves the belt from the shorts she’s kicked off, examining the contents of its pouches with seemingly unfeigned interest. “Do you carry every single item recommended in the Academy for missions?” He asks, amused.

Sakura tries not to look sheepish, nodding.

“That blind, unquestioning nature may serve you well here as well as there, Sakura-chan.” Kabuto remarks. “But I have to say, I prefer that spark of defiance you try to conceal.”

“If I ever have cause to care about your preferences, I’ll keep that in mind.” Sakura says coolly.

Kabuto laughs again, “Fair enough. Now, is there any particular reason you are underweight, Sakura-chan?”

She stiffens, fighting the urge to cover herself again despite being clothed. “I – I’m not. Am I?”

“By several kilograms.” Kabuto says. “I don’t remember Konoha having a policy on starving its shinobi.”

“They don’t. I just… I was on a diet.” Sakura says, her voice high and faltering. She hopes Sasuke isn’t listening. She can still see the dark imprint of his arm against the curtain.

“Why?” Kabuto asks, brow furrowed.

“Because I wanted to be pretty.” Sakura whispers, ashamed.

Kabuto gives her a disbelieving look, then shakes his head. “I’m not going to say a word about your appearance. It doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is how valuable you are to Orochimaru-sama. The state you’re in now, you’re just a liability. Gain some weight, put on some muscle, improve your stamina. I’m putting you on a special diet that’ll keep you healthy. A word of advice, Sakura-chan… Sasuke-kun doesn’t seem to be the type to care about looks. You can impress him with your newfound strength.”

“I don’t want to impress him. Not anymore.”

“Then you’re already learning.” He taps her forehead. “This is your strength. Your intelligence will outlast beauty and youth, so hone it now and use it well. Understand?”

Sakura nods, closing her eyes. No more carefully selecting clothes, fussing with her hair in the mirror, no more pinching her cheeks to make them flush scarlet. No more skipping meals.

Kabuto smiles at her, then tosses a bottle of water her way. She fumbles, just about managing to catch it.

“To flush the tonic out of your system. How are you feeling?”

Sakura takes a moment to catalogue her various aches and pains. There’s nothing major, and she doesn’t think that’s the tonic at work. She touches her hip lightly, trying to feel the scar through her shorts.

“I’m fine, thank you, Kabuto-san.” She says, managing a small smile of her own.

Kabuto nods, gesturing for her to get up. “I’ll see Sasuke-kun now, to check on his seal and whatever injuries he’s been hiding.”

Sakura gets off the bed, moving to leave the curtained-off section, but something holds her back for a long moment. She looks down at her dress, a scarlet stain on the white tile. She is going to miss parts of her old self. Not all of them, but some.

She draws the curtain back. Sasuke is standing a few feet away, arms folded. Sakura can hardly meet his eyes. How much did he hear?

“You’re next, Sasuke-kun!” Kabuto announces cheerily. “Clothes off!”

Sakura rushes out of the way, blushing furiously.

xxxxxxxx

Kakashi drops the hitae-ate on the Hokage’s desk.

The unmarred metal gleams. The scarred one is lying face down.

“What does this mean, Kakashi?” Tsunade narrows her eyes at him, tapping her painted nails.

“The unmarked one is Sakura’s. I can tell by the scent.” Kakashi says heavily. He can’t put into words what he thinks those two facts mean, or he’ll start to crumble. He’d thought Naruto was dead, lying on his own, one headband on his chest, the other by his head. The deep gouge through Konoha’s symbol cut like a knife, but the sight of Sakura’s gave him a treacherous flicker of hope.

Tsunade regards the hitae-ate with shrewd, hazel eyes. “Genma and Raidou reported seeing Sakura. They said she was being held by one of the Sound Four. She looked ‘distressed.’ She was wearing her hitae-ate. Unmarked. Shikamaru says the same thing. In their encounter with the four, Sakura was being forcibly restrained. Naruto said she saved him from Sasuke’s last attack.”

“I could smell her blood.” Kakashi breaks in, unable to help himself. “Hers, Naruto’s and Sasuke’s. They’d all been in a fight. Her blood was on Naruto’s hand.”

“ _How_ did she save Naruto?” Tsunade raises an eyebrow. “And did she take an active part in the last fight?”

“No. Naruto said she stayed back, trying to talk them out of fighting. He said she only jumped in when they attacked each other with Rasengan and Chidori. She managed to stop them, but she took the brunt of the blows herself.”

“Interesting. So, all of the evidence points towards Sakura not leaving of her own accord. Why would the Uchiha take her with him? What was his relationship with Sakura like?”

“She was in love with him.” Kakashi says. There’s a hollow pit in his stomach. If Sakura’s too-big heart is what led her into this mess…

“And what did the Uchiha think of that?”

“He had no interest in her. I would say she barely registered in his mind. He’s so focused on his goals that he only cares about things that can further them. That’s why Naruto, a rival he clashes with every time they meet, is technically his best friend, because he wants to beat him.”

“Goals as in plural?” Tsunade raising her eyebrows. “I’m aware of his quest to kill his brother, but what else is there?”

“He said he wanted to… revive his clan.” Kakashi trails off, remembering.

Silence hangs between them.

“A girl who’s hopelessly in love with him might register in his mind in that respect.” Tsunade says, almost tactful for her. “If she could help him further that goal… Do you think he might have noticed her a little more than you thought?”

Nothing really jumps out at him. There was the time in which Sasuke automatically protected Sakura when the Demon Brothers attacked – but that was him fulfilling the mission. Protecting the target, Tazuna. But then, when Kakashi intervened and Sakura praised him… didn’t Sasuke glare at him? He’d put it down to the kid hating being upstaged, but…

His fists clench. There’s something else.

“Sakura’s touch made the cursed seal recede.” Kakashi says. “They were in The Forest of Death. Sakura isn’t much of a fighter, she’s more focused on memorising facts and strategy than combat, but she was the last one left conscious. Orochimaru had just marked Sasuke, leaving him comatose, and messed with Naruto’s seal. He sent his squad to test Sasuke. Sakura tried her best to fight them, but they beat her pretty badly. They cut all her hair off to humiliate her, too. When Sasuke woke up, he was in the grips of the curse seal and he flipped when he saw Sakura’s state. One of the idiots admitted to hurting Sakura, so Sasuke broke his arms. The only thing that stopped his rampage was when Sakura hugged him and begged him to stop.”

“That doesn’t sound like ‘no interest’ to me.” Tsunade says. She’s not made indication that listening to her former teammate’s misdeeds affects her at all. Kakashi wonders if Sakura would have grown into this woman, given the chance. “She was a sore point, at the very least. A way to get under his skin. And now he’s brought her into Orochimaru’s lair.”

Kakashi can’t look away from Sakura’s headband. If only he’d been a just a bit faster. Sakura was hit with both Rasengan and Chidori, there was no way she could have stopped Sasuke from dragging her to Orochimaru. Leaving Naruto alone and unconscious.

Tsunade drums her fingers on her desk, a calculating glint in her eyes. “It seems a safe bet that Sakura didn’t leave the village by choice. She didn’t take anything with her, no clothes, weapons or any kind of belongings. Sasuke packed a bag. Sakura’s bed was unslept in and, judging by Genma’s clash with them, they must have left at some point during the night. So, Sakura was clearly out of her bed, but not planning anything permanent. She encountered Sasuke and he couldn’t risk her raising the alarm. He could kill her or knock her out, but if anyone found her, they would sound the alert themselves. So, he took her with him. Does that sound right?”

Kakashi didn’t want to believe that Sasuke would forcibly drag Sakura into danger just to save his own skin, but then again, he didn’t want to believe that Sakura would willingly abandon the village, either.

“He didn’t kill Naruto. He came very, very close, but he didn’t. He left him alive, even while half-crazed by Orochimaru’s seal and desperate. If he wasn’t capable of taking Naruto’s life even then, he definitely wouldn’t have been capable of simply killing Sakura to cover his own back. But to drag her all the way to Oto… It’s so unlike him.” Kakashi says slowly, still struggling to piece it all together. He’d run with his summons the length of the genin’s journey, finding nothing but a beaten Naruto lying at the end of it. He had been cautiously optimistic for once. He still thought he could get through to Sasuke. He didn’t realise he wouldn’t even get the chance to try.

“Is any of this _like_ him? All reports seem to indicate that Sasuke’s a brat, sour and unmanageable, with all the teamwork of a crippled porcupine, but abandoning his village and nearly murdering his closest friend… that _should_ be a little beyond him, don’t you think?” Tsunade says, idly fussing with a sheet of paper from a hefty pile she was clearly ignoring.

 _Was it?_ He couldn’t be sure anymore.

“You’re dismissed, Hatake. Go spend some time with that loudmouth brat.” Tsunade says, something dangerously close to pity in her eyes. She signs something with a flourish and tosses the page aside.

Kakashi can’t face Naruto. He’s a little beat up, but nothing is seriously wrong with him, besides the heartbreak. What Kakashi would give for Sakura to suddenly appear at the village gates… Naruto needed her now more than ever, and he’d had to watch her be taken from him. By his _best friend._ Kakashi has been where Naruto is now. He lost his best friend right before his eyes, then failed someone he loved deeply. Kakashi can’t cope with seeing his own failure reflected back at him in Naruto’s eyes.

“Thank you, Hokage-sama.” Kakashi says, offering a perfunctory bow. Team Seven is broken beyond repair, just as badly as it was after Obito, after Rin. If fate really does move in cycles, surely Kakashi is next? And then Naruto will be left completely alone. Or perhaps Akatsuki will move quicker than expected, and Kakashi will be the one on his own again.

He doesn’t think he can take that a second time.

He leaves the Hokage’s office, his only thought for the Memorial Stone.

Yamanaka Ino is sitting outside, legs demurely crossed. Her eyes are bloodshot from crying and she looks as exhausted as he feels.

“Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?” Kakashi asks. Many of the Rookie Nine were injured on this mission, Ino’s teammates included. He’d heard Chouji in particular was in a bad way, but hadn’t been too worried after receiving his summons from the Hokage. If anyone was still in critical condition, Tsunade would still be in the hospital, tirelessly working to save them.

Ino glares at him with her eerie Yamanaka eyes, “I just came from there. I wanted to do something _useful_ for once, so I’m here to see the Hokage.”

She must have heard about Sakura. The two of them were as close as Naruto and Sasuke. They didn’t get on, but they cared very deeply about each other.

“Good luck.” He says simply, moving to make room for her to pass by.

She nods grimly at him, striding into the Hokage’s office with the confidence of a veteran jounin.

“I want to be your apprentice!” He hears Ino declare, slamming her hands down on Tsunade’s desk.

For the first time since finding out what had become of his team in his absence, Kakashi finds a reason to smile.

xxxxxxxx

At first, Kabuto tries to show Sakura to her room.

Sasuke looks at him like he’s a moron. “She’s staying with me.”

Sakura goes bright red. “No! Sasuke-kun, I would prefer – ”

“To have your throat slit in the night?” Sasuke turns to her, raising an eyebrow. “You’re staying with _me._ I’ll get a futon or something. I don’t care.”

“Is this wise, Sasuke-kun?” Kabuto says lightly, eyes flickering between them. Sakura gets the feeling he’s talking about something else entirely. “If you keep Sakura-chan so close, people might… talk.”

Sasuke stares back at him, stone-faced. “Let them _talk_.”

Kabuto smiles. “I’ll get you a room with two beds, then, shall I?”

“Yes, please.” Sakura says faintly.

She has slept on the ground beside Sasuke before, or in hotel rooms on missions, but the idea of _living_ with him is somehow… surreal. If her younger self could see her now… she would probably be horrified that she was a missing-nin, and wouldn’t give a damn about her sleeping arrangements.

Sakura sighs. It’s time to stop focusing on the pointless things in life. She is a missing-nin. That alone eclipses everything else.

Sakura and Sasuke’s room turns out to be pretty standard, white walls, tiled floor, two beds with charcoal grey blankets and flat pillows. There’s no window, so it feels a little dark and cramped. Sakura imagines where Sasuke would have slept on his own if she hadn’t come with him. She bets he wouldn’t have done anything with the room, just left it bare and clinical, not caring about the effect it might have on his mood.

Sakura sits on her bed. Right. _Plants_ , she thinks. She looks around the windowless space and pinches the bridge of her nose. Plants that don’t require sunlight. She’ll have to see about furnishings and decorations. She decides to take a note from Sasuke’s book and not bother to ask for permission. They can’t punish her for breaking a rule she didn’t know existed, right?

Sasuke drops his backpack on the floor and leans against the wall, closing his eyes. Sakura gets the feeling he’s letting her see him at his most vulnerable. Or he’s simply forgotten she’s there. His face is pale, drawn tight with stress.

 _The further he gets from Konoha, the worse he will be,_ Sakura thinks. Well, it’s a good thing he brought a piece of Konoha with him. Sakura will be his home now. She won’t let him forget everything Team Seven has been through together, the lessons they learned.

Sakura lies down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Like everything else here, it’s plain white. Another thing that will have to change.

“Regretting your decision already?” Sasuke says, sounding tired.

“Not at all.” Sakura turns over to meet his gaze, a wry smile on her face. “I was just considering redecorating our lovely new home.”

For a moment Sasuke simply looks at her, incredulous, then a little huff of laughter escapes him. “Be my guest.”

“I already am.” Sakura points out.

“No.” Sasuke shakes his head. “You’re my teammate. That hasn’t changed.”

Sakura remembers Naruto’s desperation, his naked fear that they were leaving him. What about Naruto? Kakashi? Were they still teammates?

“Sakura.” Sasuke says.

She looks up, unable to hide her frown in time.

Sasuke looks serious. “No regrets. We can’t look back now.”

Sakura swallows hard, and nods. She still feels like she is on a precipice, but it won’t be Sasuke who falls if she missteps this time.

“No regrets.” She echoes.

Sasuke almost smiles, leaning back and closing his eyes again.

Sakura rolls over and resumes her staring contest with the ceiling.

Some things had to change. But not all of them, it seems.

***

Hello, friends!

Sasuke and Sakura’s new life in Oto begins… with a check-up! Poor Sakura. Having to get naked for medical professionals _sucks_ _so much._

It’s interesting, writing a Tsunade that doesn’t know Sakura. And by interesting I mean strange as heck.

Poor baby Naruto is all alone in the hospital room. Though at least this time, he doesn’t have to face Sakura after failing to bring Sasuke back as promised!

I made a Sasusaku playlist on Spotify that I used to write this chapter with! https://open.spotify.com/user/t964t4kj8pz9nlxbl03wiloq2/playlist/06CwXxrCzUtrptrUSolVbo

 **Quick poll for fun:** If you could invent a kekkei genkai, what would it be?

Mine would be something involving telepathy, probably. Something that would help me tell who was really on my side and who just wanted to kill me dead.


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura wakes to the sound of a polite rap at the door.

She bolts upright, sheets pooling around her waist, and instantly regrets it. Her body feels like one big bruise, her muscles finally getting the chance to scream at her for the abuse she put them through.

She hisses through her teeth and glances over at Sasuke’s bed. He’s on the floor, doing crunches. He looks at her, then gets right back to his exercising. Sasuke is a morning person, but he’s still not a people person.

Someone knocks on the door again.

Sakura sighs.

It seems it falls to her to be the sociable one. She’s eager to smooth the way for Sasuke, aware of his various shortcomings – most of which are related to his bad manners.

She peeks under the sheets, checking that she’s decently-attired, before getting out of bed and striding across the room. The scar from Sasuke’s attack is hidden by the shorts she is wearing, but her shirt is sleeveless and the pale whirlpool from Naruto’s Rasengan is there for all to see.

She can feel Sasuke’s eyes on her as she opens the door.

Kabuto smiles back at her and all of her quiet hopes of this being a good day die at once.

“Good morning, Sakura-chan,” He says pleasantly, glancing around her into the room, “Sasuke-kun. Someone’s asking to see you, Sakura-chan.”

Sasuke stops exercising. He doesn’t look up, though he’s clearly listening.

“Who?” Sakura asks, curious. She hasn’t _met_ anyone here besides Orochimaru and Kabuto, and it’s unlikely Orochimaru would _ask_ to see her. He’d just demand her presence.

“It’s a surprise.” Kabuto says sunnily.

Sasuke scoffs, “Ridiculous. She’s not going.”

Well. Just like that, it seems like Sakura _is_ going.

“We have to introduce ourselves to the people here at some point, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura reminds him.

Sasuke grunts, stretching his arms overhead. “Whatever. You don’t need my permission.”

“Charming as ever, Sasuke-kun.” Kabuto says, then steps back to make room for Sakura to get past him, “Shall we go?”

Sakura takes one last look at Sasuke, waiting for him to make eye contact. He does so reluctantly, and gives her the tiniest of nods. It’s acknowledgment, not permission, and Sakura’s grateful to have it.

“Would you mind if I got dressed first?” Sakura asks, tugging at her shirt sheepishly.

Kabuto gives her an assessing look.

She doesn’t want to advertise Naruto’s mark if she can help it. Not yet. Not until she’s had time to absorb everything that happened. It’s interesting that Kabuto didn’t seem to see a problem with her wearing what is essentially sleepwear around the base – could it truly be that casual here? She can’t imagine walking around Konoha in pyjamas.

Kabuto finally smiles, shrugging, “Ten minutes. I won’t wait any longer.”

Sakura gives him a grateful smile, closing the door and dashing over to the bag of supplies a man had dropped off the night before. There’s some emergency clothing in there for both of them. She tugs out a black, long-sleeved shirt and shorts of a thick, durable material. She freezes, looking up at Sasuke.

He’s doing sit-ups now, utterly uninterested in her continued presence.

“Um, Sasuke-kun… would you mind turning around?”

Sasuke doesn’t stop moving, but she sees his eyes flicker. Did he just _roll_ them?

“You can’t be concerned about things like that anymore.” He tells her, not even having the decency to sound out of breath.

“What, modesty? Wh – what – surely you don’t expect me to run around naked in front of them – ”

“ _No_ ,” He says, suddenly intense, “I meant that after all we’ve done, it’s foolish to care about looks.”

 _Oh._ He thinks she’s feeling insecure, rather than shy. He _did_ hear her conversation with Kabuto from yesterday.

“I _don’t_.” She says emphatically, about to launch into a speech about how things have changed and she sees things differently now, but then Sasuke cuts her off with a scoff.

“You checked to see what you were wearing before you got out of bed, presumably to avoid me seeing anything. You’ve touched your shoulder four times since waking up and you obviously want to change shirts to hide your scar. And now you want me to _turn around_ while you change, as if we aren’t both shinobi. As if we were strangers. It shouldn’t _matter_ – ”

“But it _does_.” Sakura snaps. Sasuke’s eyebrows lift a fraction in surprise. “It might seem stupid to you, but it matters to me. And this is not about me worrying about my looks, this is me wanting to maintain a modicum of privacy! Turn around, please _._ ”

Sasuke stands abruptly. His shirt is barely damp with sweat. If it was Sakura, she’d be drenched and gasping for breath. She makes a mental note to increase her daily exercise regimen. Or… start one.

“Show me your scars.” He says, folding his arms.

“What?” Sakura says, staggered. She’s not used to Sasuke sparing more than ten words to her per day that aren’t directly related to training or missions, so bearing the brunt of his focus is more than a little unsettling.

It reminds her of the moments that came after The Forest of Death, when she occasionally caught him staring at her newly-shorn hair, her wounds, her tear-stained face. It was as if she had gone from being on the periphery of his life to the forefront in a matter of hours. And all she had to do was take a humiliating beating and put her life on the line for him.

“Both of them.” He says firmly. “I want to see.”

Sakura glances at the door, aware that she’s keeping Kabuto waiting and she still hasn’t got dressed yet.

She gulps, turning slightly to show the whirlpool scar in its entirety, spreading across her shoulder. It stripped her flesh away unevenly, so she’s been left with a ridged mark that she can’t stop exploring with her fingertips.

Sasuke does the same, just barely touching the mark Naruto had left on his mission to defeat Sasuke. If he had hit her head-on, she would have died. As it was, he’d only glanced her, the very edge of his technique catching her arm.

Sakura can’t read the look on Sasuke’s face. He’d been wrong about her motives for hiding it. It wasn’t vanity. She wasn’t afraid he’d be disgusted by her. She just didn’t want to remind him how close he and Naruto came to killing her – and each other. She had thought they both needed a little time to come to terms with that.

“That was close.” He says grimly, his jaw set. “You shouldn’t have interfered.”

“Oh, so I should have just let you two kill each other?” Sakura demands.

“I have to beat him, Sakura. I have to know how strong he is, how much harder I have to work. You know my goal. If I can’t even beat Naruto, how can I accomplish that?”

“If Naruto’s so weak in your eyes – and he isn’t in mine, by the way – then why don’t you focus on someone else to defeat?” Sakura suggests.

She’s never liked Sasuke and Naruto’s rivalry. At first because it took away from time Sasuke could have been spending on her, but then it grew more and more unsettling as they became serious about beating each other, and she found herself wishing they’d been put on different teams – anything to avoid this unhealthy obsession.

Sasuke sneers, jerking his head at the door, “Like _him_ , you mean?” As if having a rivalry with Kabuto would be any healthier.

Now it’s Sakura’s turn to roll her eyes, “Obviously not. You’re strong, Sasuke-kun. You will get stronger and stronger. You don’t need to hurt Naruto to do that.”

Sasuke’s expression closes off, his eyes flickering. _What is he hiding?_ She wonders, but doesn’t get the chance to muse on it further, because Sasuke grabs her shorts and –

Sakura shrieks, knocking his hand away.

He stares at her, obviously puzzled by her reaction.

The knock at the door makes her jump.

“Everything alright in there, Sakura-chan?” Kabuto asks, his voice muffled by the door.

“Yes, sorry!” She calls back, a little too high-pitched to sound calm.

“Good. Then, please hurry up.”

Sakura winces. Then she rounds on Sasuke, her face hot, hissing, “Don’t _do_ that!”

“But you were going to show me – ”

“ _I_ was going to show you, that doesn’t give you an invitation to tug at my – _ugh_ , just don’t do it again!”

Sasuke huffs, looking away pointedly as she carefully pulls down the top of her shorts, revealing a portion of her hip. In the light of day, it looks worse – the scar is like the aftermath of a lightning-struck tree, white branches stretching across her skin.

Sasuke stares at the mark he left for a lot longer than he looked at Naruto’s. He offers no apologies and he doesn’t try to touch this one. Instead, his dark eyes trace the scar and his frown deepens, making him look older, lines etching around his mouth.

“I didn’t expect you to get in the way again.” He says. “I was focused on ending the fight with Naruto. If I’d known you would interfere… I would have found another way. Don’t do it again.”

“Don’t do anything stupid and I won’t have to.” Sakura replies, hiking her shorts back up.

Sasuke looks almost surprised at her words, “When do I ever do anything stupid?”

“I don’t have the time to list it all.” Sakura says lightly, grabbing the bag of clothes and dumping it on her bed. “I’ve still got to get ready.”

Sasuke pauses, then gives a little scoff, going back to his workout without another word. Sakura supposes he doesn’t know how to react to her teasing – she’s never said so much as a word against him, never acted as if he was anything less than perfect.

Sasuke just so happens to face the other way as he begins his sit-ups once more. It feels like a victory, and Sakura’s left smiling as she dresses and freshens up, occasionally glancing at Sasuke’s back.

“Sorry!” She says to Kabuto as she leaves the room, “I had a little trouble getting dressed.”

Kabuto gives her a dubious look, “That does not bode well, Sakura-chan. I wouldn’t have spoken up for you if I had known you have difficulties dressing yourself.”

Sakura resists the urge to talk back to him. She doesn’t quite know her place here yet, nor how far her limits go. She can’t risk alienating or offending anyone, especially not with Sasuke undoubtedly doing both.

“I was just trying to figure out what to wear.” She lies, forcing a smile. “I wasn’t sure what was appropriate to wear around here.”

Kabuto doesn’t seem to buy that, but he doesn’t say anything, just continues walking down the hall. Sakura has yet to see anyone else. She can’t imagine Orochimaru lost _all_ of his forces in the invasion of Konoha. Surely there must be others here?

There’s something she wants to ask him without Sasuke around. She stops walking. Kabuto slowly turns to face her, quirking a brow up in question.

“Why _did_ you speak up for me?” She asks. Kabuto’s gaze slides up from the floor to her face. He says nothing, his face unreadable. “We both know I’m the weakest member of Team Seven by far.”

“One, you are not a member of Team Seven. The only remaining members of that team are Naruto-kun and your absentee teacher. Two, every single member of that team, past and present, had an advantage over you. Naruto and Sasuke are both from prodigious clans. Naruto also has… unusual chakra, something that allows him to get through obstacles that would block most people. Kakashi had the advantage of years of experience. In the face of that, Sakura-chan, don’t you think anyone would look worse off in comparison?” Kabuto asks, sounding genuinely curious.

Sakura considers it. It’s true that Sasuke was the Rookie of the Year. He also has a kekkei genkai that allows him to copy most techniques and memorise information instantaneously. Naruto’s _unusual chakra_ , as Kabuto put it, allowed him to defeat Hyuuga Neji even after his system was blocked and he shouldn’t have had anything left. He could also go toe to toe with Sasuke even after he used his cursed seal. And Kakashi was the infamous Copy Nin with a Sharingan of his own – and who knows how he even got that in the first place.

And what did Sakura have? She could remember information if she studied it.

She can feel her face fall at the thought. There must be _something_ she could do, something special about her that set her apart from all the rest…

“If I had said you were weak, Orochimaru-sama would have killed you.” Kabuto says conversationally. Sakura’s head jerks up. His grin turns crooked, “He might have even forced Sasuke-kun to do it, to test his loyalty and willingness to kill.”

“So, you… you just said it to save my life.”

“No, not at all. If I had thought you weak, I would have disposed of you no matter what. Sasuke-kun might have sulked for a while, but that would have been a small price to pay. There is no room for weakness in Oto, Sakura-chan. You are very lucky that you are not weak.” Kabuto says, patting her on the shoulder, over the cloth-covered scar.

Sakura doesn’t move away from the touch even though she dearly wants to. “I’m not? I’m sorry, I’m just… not used to people saying that.”

“And why would you be? You were only on that team to be the token kunoichi. There were no expectations for you. None at all.”

Sakura looks at her feet. He’s right. If Ino wasn’t bound by her family’s team traditions, it could have been her in Team Seven, not Sakura. There was nothing about her that made her stand out from the rest.

“Why so glum?” Kabuto asks, tilting his head. “If no one has any expectations for you, that means nothing you do will ever disappoint. All you can do is get better and better. And _prove them wrong._ ”

Sakura looks up at him, startled.

He winks at her, “We’re here. Go on in.”

Sakura catches herself before she can smile back at him. She mustn’t let herself be fooled by anyone here. Kabuto tricked her once before with his kind smiles and sheepish persona. Just because he’s acting encouraging now does not mean he actually wants her to succeed.

She chooses not to respond, considering it the safest option, then pushes open the door.

She nearly gasps at the sight within.

It’s a private hospital room filled with intensive care equipment, and in the middle of it all is a very pale Kimimaro, hooked up to all kinds of machinery.

He sees her and smiles faintly, “Sakura-san. Come in, please.”

She drifts towards his bed, eyes flickering around the room in horrified fascination. He needs all of this just to stay alive?

She sits at his bedside, jolting back in surprise when his ice-cold hand reaches for hers. She allows him to take her hand, wincing a little at the dry, paper feel of his skin.

“You saved my life.” He says hoarsely. “I was resigned to my fate. I fully expected and embraced my death, considering it only a natural end of my service to Orochimaru-sama. But the boy I faced claimed he wished to take his medicine before our fight. I remembered the tonic you gave me and took it as he drank his. Kabuto said it kept me alive just long enough for more of Orochimaru-sama’s people to find me after I collapsed.”

Sakura squeezes his hand, “So you’re okay? That’s good. I was afraid that no one else had made it.”

“The rest of your escort is dead.” Kimimaro says bluntly. “The Sound Four were defeated by genin. It seems Konoha’s stock is stronger than I had thought.”

Sakura barely notices her hand slip out of his lax grip. _All_ of the Sound Four were dead? She shouldn’t care… they were cruel to her, and would have killed her if Sasuke hadn’t managed to persuade them otherwise. They would have killed her friends if they could. But her friends somehow got there first.

She should be happy.

But her friends are no longer her friends. Her enemies have turned to allies. It’s difficult to know what to feel.

“You can’t have known them for long.” Kimimaro observes, his jade green eyes focused squarely on her face. “And yet knowing they’re dead upsets you.”

Sakura grits her teeth, “I don’t… I have no idea. It’s stupid, I know, but – ”

“When is compassion stupid?” Kimimaro says, gazing steadily into her eyes. His are bloodshot and watery. “They became your comrades, however short-lived. It is natural to mourn their loss.”

Sakura manages a weak smile, taking his hand again, “Thank you.”

“No, thank _you_. You gave me the chance to see Orochimaru-sama again. Now I can die in peace, knowing I helped Orochimaru-sama’s plan come to fruition.”

Sakura bites back a grimace. He seems to see it anyway, because he laughs quietly, stirring the white hair that is splayed across his pillow.

“Why did you come here, Sakura-san?” He asks.

“You asked to see me.” She says, startled.

“I meant, why did you come to Otogakure? You don’t owe Orochimaru-sama anything and you clearly don’t trust him. So why devote yourself to his service?”

Sakura looks away.

There’s only ever one reason, for her.

“I came for Sasuke-kun,” She says quietly, feeling his grip on her hand tighten, “I knew he wanted to leave Konoha and I didn’t want him to be alone.”

_If you leave, for me it will be the same as being alone!_

Perhaps it was a one-sided love. Maybe Sasuke would have survived without her, thrived, even. But she is set on this path, now. She’s here. She may despise Orochimaru and everything he stands for, but if she is going to stay alive long enough to help Sasuke, she’s going to have to either get better at lying, or try to put her hatred aside.

“You’re the same as me.” Kimimaro says softly. “You have devoted your life to another. I follow Orochimaru-sama. You follow Sasuke.”

Sakura is hit by a wave of revulsion. She wants to protest that she is nothing like Kimimaro, pushing himself to limits and risking his life for Orochimaru, putting aside his own goals and safety to help him with his, building his entire identity around one person – but she can’t. They aren’t so different, after all.

“I suppose you’re right.” She mumbles.

“Oto exists for people like us, Sakura-san. Those who feel betrayed, forgotten, left behind. People who need someone to follow. Following Orochimaru-sama _will_ help Sasuke.” Kimimaro tells her, a feverish glint in his eyes.

“Why do you follow Orochimaru?” Sakura asks. She sees his jaw tighten at her lack of respect, but he thankfully chooses to ignore it.

“The only family I ever had put me in cage because my abilities frightened them. They only took me out when I could be useful for them. Wipe out their enemies. Eventually, they got themselves killed and there was no one left to cage me anymore. I wandered for a while, lost. Confused. Unsure what to think or feel about my situation. And then I met a man who gave me clarity. Purpose. An identity beyond a weapon. I owe him everything. Why do you follow Sasuke?”

She wishes it was as easy to explain as Kimimaro’s story. A series of events, perfectly logical and reasonable. A leads to B. Instead, it’s just a mass of emotion, feelings and memories seething within her. Just a nameless roar in her chest that rises at the sight of him.

“I love him.” She says simply.

Kimimaro smiles, “What better reason to follow someone?”

“I don’t know, I think yours is better.” She says cheekily, daring to grin at him.

He laughs again, but has to break it off to cough violently, his face contorting.

She touches his brow lightly. He’s burning up. The tonic she gave him was a cure-all, designed to alleviate symptoms. It couldn’t actually cure anything, but it must have lessened the violence his disease was wreaking on his body. Now, as the tonic wore off, the illness came back in full force.

She casts a glance around the room, spying a pitcher of water next to a few empty glasses. She has to pry her hand from his cold, clammy fingers to leave his side, but returns as quickly as possible, water in hand.

She helps him sit up, bracing him with an arm around his shoulders pushing him forward as she holds the glass in her other hand, raising it to his mouth. He drinks deeply, then sags against her. His head rests against hers for a brief moment, his feverish skin burning hers.

The door opens.

Kabuto stops dead, eyebrows flying up at the sight of them. “My word, Sakura-chan…” He says, a smirk beginning to form on his face, “What will poor Sasuke-kun say?”

Sakura scowls, placing the water on the bedside table and gently levering Kimimaro back, pulling her arm from his shoulders. His head lolls against the pillow, cheeks flushed.

“Quite the little nursemaid.” Kabuto remarks. “I’m almost sorry to cut this short, but Orochimaru-sama wants to see you at once, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura wipes Kimimaro’s forehead. He’s drifted off into a restless sleep. She wishes she could stay with him, try to find a way to make him comfortable before his time comes, but if she stays away too long Sasuke might come looking for her.

She pats Kimimaro’s hand, then withdraws, joining Kabuto at the door. “What does he want?” She asks him, brow furrowed.

“What does who want?” Kabuto feigns a look of confusion.

Sakura walks around him and leaves the room, rolling her eyes as she goes.

“Say it with me, Oro-chi-ma-ru- _sama_.” Kabuto says cheerily, grabbing the crook of her elbow to guide her down another corridor. It seems as though this ‘village’ is just a series of endless halls and rooms. “You really must learn the proper etiquette, Sakura-chan. I would hate to have recommended to spare you and then have you disappoint me, or show me up in front of Orochimaru-sama.”

Sakura ignores him. She’s too busy trying not to overthink what’s to come. So Orochimaru wants to see her without Sasuke, that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. She sighs, shaking her head. Of course it does.

They arrive at the same doors they exited the day before. Sakura takes a deep breath as Kabuto opens the door and gestures for her to follow.

 _I am not scared,_ she tells herself firmly. _Or if I am, that is a perfectly rational response and it just means I’ll be prepared, should the worst happen._

She walks into the hall, unsurprised to see it is just Orochimaru inside. She’s yet to see anyone other than Sasuke, Kabuto, Kimimaro, and the head of the base himself. She’s starting to believe Orochimaru hired foreign nin to invade Konoha under a false flag of Oto, and that he doesn’t really have any followers at all. Besides poor Kimimaro, that is.

She bows deeply, following Kabuto’s example, and says, “You wanted to see me, Orochimaru-sama?”

“We’ve had news from Konoha, Sakura-chan.” Orochimaru says, an air of restless excitement about him. Sakura feels ice in her veins. _Konoha_. “Do you know what you are worth to them?”

It feels like a trap. Sakura tenses, not looking at Kabuto.

“No, Orochimaru-sama.”

“They’ve placed a bounty on your head. Five million ryo, dead or alive.” Orochimaru says gleefully, his golden eyes drinking in every twitch and microexpression that crosses her face at the news. _He is loving this_ , Sakura realises. Does he plan to ransom her? She imagines Naruto watching her come home as a corpse. _No. That cannot happen._

“So, this is the deal – in order for you to remain here, you must become worth more than five million ryo. Every shinobi is worth their talent in coin. You will earn your place, or you will lose it. If your bounty increases, you will have to work to match it. Do you understand?”

Sakura forces herself to stop trembling under his gaze, the sadistic pleasure in his eyes making her feel sick to her stomach. This is the man Kimimaro idolises, who he would throw his life away for. This man, who views her life as an amusing game.

What happens if Sasuke changes? If he becomes someone like his new teacher, not fit to follow? Will she become Kimimaro, another wasted body in a hospital bed, still fiercely loyal to the man she follows?

It doesn’t matter.

“I understand, Orochimaru-sama.” She says, not bothering to hide her anger, glaring up at him from where he sits on his ridiculous makeshift throne. Let him see how unimpressed she is with his veiled threats, the little games he plays with people. Kimimaro deserves better. Even _Kabuto_ deserves better.

Five million ryo.

She’s going to make that look like a pittance one day.

She looks to Kabuto and catches the faint traces of approval in his eyes.

***

Hello, friends.

Of course Orochimaru lied about Sakura having a bounty.

Konoha _has_ put out a reward for her safe return – but hearing that might hearten her, make her want to go home. Oto is all about outcasts with nowhere else to go, after all.

When I checked Kimimaro’s age and discovered he was _FIFTEEN_ , I couldn’t believe it. Seriously??? That grown-ass man is _fifTEenEnen???_

Sasuke continues to be antisocial and yet somehow kind of clingy. Weird kid.

Kabuto is a shit-stirrer, but is he looking out for Sakura? Or himself? We’ll see :D

The price of Sakura’s life with Sasuke is five million. The stakes! They are raised!

Yes, Sasuke tried to pull Sakura’s shorts down and no, he didn’t see anything wrong with that. _Sigh._ That’s Sakura’s roommate!

I have no idea what Kimimaro’s disease is, but it seems similar to the kind that every Victorian noblewoman had in every Victorian book ever. Coughing up blood and swooning everywhere.

 **Quick poll for fun:** If you could turn into any animal, what would you be?

I would be a cat, so I could nap for most of the day and then knock things over.


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto sees them every time he closes his eyes.

Sasuke’s sneering face, so eerily like Orochimaru’s that it sends chills down his spine just thinking about it. Sakura’s teary eyes, still somehow burning with determination. They both knew what they were doing. Neither of them wanted or needed to be rescued.

They left him behind.

He’d woken up on Kakashi’s back, confused, his head splitting open with pain. He’d asked Kakashi where they were. Sasuke and Sakura. His best friends.

Kakashi had given a vague, toneless reply. Something like _there, there,_ or, _I’m sure you tried your best._ And Naruto realised, slumped against his teacher’s back, that he’d failed. For the first time, he had failed in a way that he couldn’t just dedicate himself to fixing. There were no second chances. They’d disappeared after leaving him and their hitae-ate, faded into the forest and into Orochimaru’s grasp.

The old snake was probably already wearing Sasuke’s skin. Who knows what he might have done with Sakura.

Naruto feels tears sting his eyes for what seems like the hundredth time. He’s alone. He’d been so sure that Sasuke had grabbed Sakura – he never stopped to think _why_ , or he would’ve realised at once that he was wrong – and that he needed a good pummelling to knock some sense into him, and then he could rescue Sakura and together they would take Sasuke back home. Naruto would convince Tsunade not to get mad at Sasuke. Sakura would probably recite some old law or rule from the shinobi handbook that would make them have to leave Sasuke alone.

They’d drag Sasuke out of that dusty old Compound full of ghosts and Naruto would make him live with him for a while. He’d sit on him if he had to. He’d make sure he was never alone. Eventually, Sasuke would come to his senses and everything would be alright again. Orochimaru would have failed. One day, Naruto would get revenge for the old man Sandaime, but for now, that would be the end of it.

Team Seven would go on a hundred more missions, joining Sasuke on his punishment D-ranks, catching that demon cat another thousand times, painting a million fences. They’d spar again and it would be normal even if Naruto beat him, Sasuke wouldn’t give him that death glare, burning with killing intent, he’d just scoff and toss his head, insisting he’d let Naruto win. Sakura would cheer them on and scold Naruto for saying something dumb. Then they’d all go to Ichiraku and have ramen together. Even Kakashi would go, and they’d all pretend they weren’t trying to covertly watch him eat, and Kakashi would clear his bowl without ever showing an inch of skin.

Naruto would ask Sakura out on a date and she’d say no, but in the playful way she’d started lately, more amused than annoyed. Sakura would ask Sasuke out and he’d act like he didn’t even hear her, and Naruto and Sakura would share commiserating looks. They’d stay Team Seven even after they finally became chunnin, after smashing the exams on their second try. They would all keep working together until the day Naruto finally became Hokage, and they’d all stand by his side and grin as he was finally, finally given recognition by the village he loved. They’d grin because they always knew he’d do it one day, no matter what they said. Kakashi would say he was proud of him. He might even ruffle his hair, like he did sometimes. Naruto would pretend it annoyed him.

And because he would never stop being Naruto, he’d toss off his Hokage robes and travel with Team Seven, beating mercenaries and tyrants and saving people from bad guys and even themselves, sometimes. He’d be a hands-on leader, the kind that walked amongst his people and never turned anyone in need away. He’d always keep his word. It’d be easy, with his friends beside him.

Naruto blinks, heavy teardrops falling onto his bandaged hands. He had been so sure of that future. He’d felt it in his gut. And now…

“I’m shocked the future Hokage still hasn’t noticed me, yet.” A tart voice says to his right.

Naruto starts, head snapping round to see who it was.

Ino sits beside his bed, a book in her hands. Her nails are perfectly polished and shaped. She quirks an eyebrow at him, “I’ve been sitting here for ages. Didn’t think I had to announce myself when I came in.”

“How long have you been there?” Naruto asks, scrubbing at his wet cheeks furiously, feeling them grow hot.

“Oh, just a few minutes. Long enough to catch the rare sight of Uzumaki Naruto, deep in thought.” She smirks, and for a moment it’s like Sasuke is home, making fun of him like everything’s normal. He must make some kind of weird face, because Ino narrows her pale eyes at him, brandishing her book like a weapon, “I didn’t expect to find you wallowing in self-pity. I thought for sure you’d be halfway to Oto again, haring off like a knucklehead, making it all up as you go along.”

Naruto sighs, scratching at the bandage on his cheek. He wishes he could just tear it off, rip them all off and burn the evidence of his failure. His Kyuubi chakra’s speeding along his recovery anyway, so it would hardly matter if he knocked a couple of scabs loose.

But Tsunade would knock him senseless.

“I already tried that.” He says dully.

“And when you try something once and fail, you immediately give up, right? That’s your motto.” Ino says, rolling her eyes.

“Why don’t _you_ go?” Naruto says, anger flaring up. “Sakura-chan’s supposed to be your best friend, right? And you always talk about how much like Sasuke. So why don’t you go and bring them home, since you obviously know better than me.”

Ino gives a bitter laugh, “As if. The level I’m at now… I probably wouldn’t get half as far as you did.”

Naruto looks up, startled by the admission.

“But I’m going to get stronger,” She says calmly, her confidence returning at once, “I’ve apprenticed myself to Tsunade-sama. I’m going to be a medic-nin. They’re pretty rare and even the weakest are valuable. I’m going to learn everything I can until I’m twice as good as I used to be, and then I’ll drag my idiot best friend home. What about you? Are you going to do the same?”

Naruto flinches. How can he train without Sasuke or Sakura? Has Kakashi ever actually trained him, one-on-one?

He hasn’t told anyone that Sakura left by choice. They had all already assumed she’d been kidnapped, so he just didn’t correct them. He couldn’t bear to tell anyone that he’d been willingly abandoned by both of his teammates. His friends.

He can see that Ino isn’t as calm as she’s pretending. Her hair lacks its usual lustre and her eyes are faintly bloodshot, like she’s been crying. She must really believe that her lifelong crush just dragged her best friend into Orochimaru’s lair. In a way, she’s got it worse than he does. She doesn’t know that Sakura made her choice. She wasn’t afraid. Naruto suddenly gets the urge to tell her _something_. She deserves to know the truth about her best friend.

“Me and Sasuke nearly killed each other.” He says, voice hoarse and cracked. Ino’s eyes widen a fraction. “Sakura stopped us. Somehow, she stood between us and grabbed our wrists, throwing us both away from each other. It was amazing. I never knew she could…”

“Be that strong?” Ino finishes, “Of course she could. That giant forehead has to be good for something, after all.”

Despite her words, she looks a little happier. Proud.

“I’m not going to lose to her,” She says fiercely, leaning forward, “And I’m definitely not going to lose her, either. And you?”

Naruto squeezes his eyes shut. He sees Sakura, pale and strained, but unwavering. Sasuke, infected with Orochimaru’s chakra, but still refusing to kill him, despite his words. Naruto knew he’d been unconscious, that they must have stood over him. They’d left their hitae-ate with him, after all. Like they’d given him them for safekeeping.

Naruto grins, feeling a flicker of his old resolve returning to him. He clenches his fist.

“No way!” He declares. “We’re going to bring them home!”

Ino’s smirk softens to a smile. She snaps her book shut, and he sees the title. _A Hundred Doses of Healing, The First Steps of a Worthy Journey._

xxxxxxxx

Sakura storms down the corridor, fury driving her steps.

Kabuto follows behind at a much more sedate pace.

Sakura stops, whirling around to face him, “I need indoor plants that don’t require sunlight.”

Kabuto squints at her, confused, “Did I miss the first part of this conversation?”

“No, I just remembered. I want to decorate my room and since it’s pretty much a hole, I’ll need plants that can survive without light. The Cast Iron Plant, uh… a Peace Lily… and more. Sasuke will want whatever books you here that you can’t get in Konoha. Scrolls, too.”

“Should I take the cost out of your bounty?” Kabuto asks softly.

Sakura closes her eyes, her lips thinning in displeasure, “You do what you want. I’ll earn the cost back, no problem.”

“And how, exactly, will you do that?”

“I’m going to train. I… guess I need a new teacher.” Sakura says, downcast. It wasn’t as if Kakashi had ever been particularly hands-on or involved with her training, but… he made her feel safe. She was pretty sure no Oto nin would have the same effect.

“I’ll set something up. You’re lucky, you know.”

Sakura gives him a distrustful look, “Why? Because I’m now bound to a sum of money I’ll never even see, just to keep my place here?”

“Because Oto is smaller than Konoha. Fewer people, less competition. You aren’t one of many genin, assigned to a teacher you don’t get to choose, having to simply hope they’ll know what’s best for you.”

“Kakashi-sensei _did_ – ” Sakura begins hotly, but Kabuto raises his eyebrows at her and she cuts herself off. “Kakashi did know what was best for me. He assessed us all.”

“Oh, I know he did. I read your file, you know.” Kabuto says, smiling guilelessly.

Sakura struggles to conceal her interest, not wanting to see that infuriating amusement on his face.

“He knew about your perfect chakra control, even noted that you walked up a tree on your first try, beating both your teammates. He knew you were a genjutsu type, too. He saw everything I did. And what did he do with that information?” Kabuto asks. Sakura swallows, keeping silent. “Did he teach you genjutsu? Help you practice against him and his eye? Did he teach you _anything_ , Sakura-chan?”

Sakura looks at her feet. If she thinks of Kakashi, she thinks of a steady hand on her shoulder, words of reassurance, the curve of his eye as he smiled. She thinks of how he always paired up with her on missions, leaving Naruto and Sasuke to fight each other instead of their enemies, while Sakura was told to stay behind Kakashi as he dealt with the threat. _With me, Sakura. Wait here, Sakura._

She’d thought that was normal. That it was because she was the weakest that he paired himself with her, that it only made sense. It hadn’t occurred to her that she might be the weakest because she never had the chance to be strong.

She thinks of the way he would pat her on the head, deliberately messing her hair up. How he would angle his books away from her, not wanting her to see its contents. Every single time he picked her up and carried her out of danger before she could even try to escape it on her own. Every time he praised her for the tiniest, most pointless of accomplishments.

No matter what, Kakashi was her teacher. He always will be.

“Yes.” She says, her voice hoarse. “He taught me that those who abandon their comrades are trash.”

Kabuto tilts his head, “And what does that make you?”

“I chose to go with Sasuke-kun. To do otherwise would be like abandoning him to his fate.”

“To his own choices.” Kabuto corrects. “But you _did_ abandon Naruto-kun and Kakashi-san. Didn’t you?”

If she says no, she admits she’s not a hundred percent loyal to Oto. If she says yes, she has to agree that she is trash, the worst kind of person in her teacher’s eyes.

“I did what I thought was right. And I would do it again, if I had to.” She says instead, gazing steadily at him. He can try to attack her bonds all he wants. Maybe Kakashi wasn’t the best teacher to her, but he was her teammate above all else.

Kabuto gives her an inscrutable smile when he leaves her outside her room.

There’s a tray of food outside the door, right next to two other identical trays. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Sakura pinches the bridge of her nose, exasperated. Someone must have come by to feed them _three_ times, and each time Sasuke ignored the knock at the door. She isn’t going to teach him basic manners or social conduct. If he can’t be bothered, he can starve. She’s not his mother.

She grabs two of the trays and opens the door with her elbow, using her foot to drag the last tray inside the room.

“You should start flaring your chakra before you come in, Sakura.” Sasuke says, sounding strained. “I’m going to set traps at the door soon.”

Sakura shakes her head, closing the door behind her and aiming a frustrated look his way. She nearly drops the trays at the sight of him.

He’s lying on his side on the bed, covered in blood and bruises.

Sakura hastily shoves the trays onto her bed and rushes over.

“Who did this to you?” She demands, furious, scanning him from head to toe to assess the damage. He tolerates her concern, but just barely. His jaw is clenched, though that might be from pain. It looks as though he was kicked while he was down. Anger sears in her gut.

“It was training. After you left, some of Orochimaru’s best shinobi came by, said they were in charge of my taijutsu lessons from now on.”

“And their lessons consisted of what, beating you into submission?” Sakura asks hotly, still riding the high of staring Orochimaru down. She feels as though she would be a lot more openly defiant with him now, if their little meeting had come after this unpleasant surprise. She certainly wouldn’t have called him Orochimaru- _sama_.

Sasuke says nothing, refusing to meet her eyes. Ashamed. They must have humiliated him. Oh, they wanted to teach him a lesson, alright.

“Konoha’s put a price on my head.” Sakura says, wanting to catch him off guard.

She does. His eyes snap back to her face, a little wide, then they narrow viciously, “Why the hell would they do that?”

“Because I’m a missing-nin?” Sakura offers quietly.

Sasuke falls silent, his brow furrowing in thought.

Sakura has the bare bones of a plan forming in her head – a way to benefit both her and Sasuke. The reason why he’s still injured is because he doesn’t trust any of the medics in the base, especially not Kabuto. He would never allow himself to be put in such a vulnerable position.

“Orochimaru told me I have to become worth five million ryo to him in order to stay at Oto. That’s the price of my bounty.”

Sasuke pushes away, rolling onto his back. He lets out a pained hiss, covering his face with his hands.

“It’ll be okay.” Sakura says calmly, touching the only uninjured part of his arm she can see. Sasuke jerks away, still not looking at her.

Sakura looks at him for a long moment, waiting. She shrugs after a while of being ignored, standing up and moving to her own bed. She sits, pulling one of the trays into her lap. There’s two plates, both labelled with their names. Sakura’s is loaded with carb-heavy, calorie-rich food. She rolls her eyes. Kabuto’s doing, no doubt.

She spears a piece of pork, her stomach rumbling even at the prospect of stone-cold food, and raises it to her mouth.

In a flash, Sasuke is there. He grips her wrist, glaring down at her. His face is contorted in pain from moving from his bed to hers.

“ _Careless_ ,” He snarls, snatching her plate away, “You’re in enemy territory and you’re just going to eat whatever they give you?”

Sakura grimaces, her stomach growling at her. At this point, she doesn’t care if it’s poisoned or on fire, she’s _hungry._

“It makes precisely no sense for anyone to want me dead – as far as anyone knows, I’m meant to be here. I arrived with you, I’m staying with you, Kabuto spoke up for me, Orochimaru just gave me a deal – ”

“How likely is it that every single one of his demented followers knows that?” Sasuke glowers down at her plate, pushing the rice around as if looking for hidden enemies. “He’s made it clear I’m not to be touched, obviously, or he’d risk losing his precious vessel. You aren’t worth a single ryo at this point, Sakura. Not to him. Your life is worthless here.”

 Sakura bites her lip, looking away.

“Not to me. Obviously.” Sasuke mutters. “I wouldn’t let you come with me if I was just going to let you die.”

Sakura smiles to herself. It isn’t a shock to know that Sasuke would protect her, but it’s certainly a surprise to hear it directly from him.

“I know that, Sasuke-kun.” She says softly.

He grunts, still not looking at her, then lifts her plate to sniff it. He insists on tasting every single item of food on her plate, just in case, only handing it back once he’s completely satisfied that it’s clean.

They both eat in companionable silence. It’s nothing like dinner with her parents, or meals with Team Seven, but it’s… it’s good. In its own way.

“By the way, Sasuke-kun.” She begins, wiping her mouth delicately. He looks up, raising his eyebrows in silent question. “Open the door when someone knocks, please.”

He immediately looks mutinous, so Sakura throws a chopstick at his face. He catches it without blinking, then frowns at her in confusion when she erupts into peals of laughter.

She almost misses the slight smirk on his face when she looks up, wiping a tear of mirth away.

xxxxxxxx

Sakura’s awake and ready by the time morning arrives.

Sasuke had given her a look when he started exercising, as if thinking she might join in, but she waved him off. She doesn’t want to have to shower again. It’s traumatic, having a bathroom with no lock on the door and her crush in the next room.

Someone knocks on the door.

Sakura sends Sasuke an expectant look. He holds her gaze for a moment, then sighs, standing up and stretching. He shoves his hands in his pockets and walks at a snail’s pace to the door, probably hoping whoever it is will be gone by the time he arrives.

When he opens the door, it’s Kabuto again.

Sakura bites back a triumphant grin. She _knew_ it. For some reason, Kabuto or Orochimaru is limiting the rest of the base’s access to the two of them. Otherwise, she would have seen someone else by now. She spent far too much time yesterday walking through the endless corridors, past countless doors. Orochimaru didn’t build this base for handful of followers. Kabuto clearly wasn’t caring for Kimimaro, so someone else had to be.

And Kabuto was clearly Orochimaru’s right-hand man, so why was he playing errand boy, fetching Sakura to see both Kimimaro and Orochimaru?

She’d assumed Kabuto was the one who had brought the trays of food, presumably while she was in with Kimimaro. A good thing, since she hadn’t relished the idea of potentially getting lost trying to find him herself.

“Good morning, Sasuke-kun,” Kabuto says, with far too much cheer considering the early hour, “Sakura-chan. I brought you some food.”

Sasuke takes the tray and goes to shut the door in Kabuto’s face.

“Wait a moment, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura says.

He turns to frown at her, Kabuto still smiling serenely over his shoulder.

“I need a word with Kabuto-san.” Sakura says, standing up and brushing her clothes down.

Sasuke stares at her, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

She smiles at him. She’ll tell him what she’s up to later, after the fact. She’s not in the mood to hear about how stupid her plan is and how she’s absolutely not doing it.

He says nothing, just leaves the doorway, crouching next to his bed and starting a new set of squats.

Kabuto is looking at Sakura with unguarded interest, glasses flashing in the fluorescent light of the hallway.

“Shall we?” He says, offering his arm.

Sasuke pauses in his squats, flicking a disdainful glance Kabuto’s way. It was the kind of look that would have made Sakura shrivel, but it only seems to make Kabuto’s smile widen.

Sakura brushes past him on her way out, ignoring his attempts at chivalry.

Kabuto laughs under his breath, following her down the corridor. She stops once she’s sure they’re out of earshot – both an ordinary range and a chakra-enhanced one, since Sasuke would undoubtedly be listening if he could.

“I must confess, I’m intrigued.” Kabuto says, his bland smile morphing into something a lot more devious. “What are you up to, Sakura-chan?”

“Please teach me healing, Kabuto-san.” Sakura says as politely as she can manage, following it up with a suitably deep bow.

Kabuto’s lips part, but no words follow. He’s stumped, briefly, but recovers with unfortunate swiftness. “Interesting. What’s in it for me?”

Sakura scowls. She’d been hoping his need to mess with Sasuke would be enough, but clearly she’d underestimated what a piece of work he was.

“You must be short-staffed. Only a tiny fraction of shinobi ever enters the medical field. I have perfect chakra control, just like you said. I also have an excellent memory. Two very useful qualities for a medic-nin, don’t you think? I can promise you wouldn’t be wasting your time on me.”

“So, you’re offering me nothing.” Kabuto says. “For you to _give_ me something in return, it must be a sacrifice. Don’t you think?”

Sakura fights to keep her annoyance off her face. “Then, within reason, what do you want?”

Kabuto hums pensively, gazing at the ceiling. Sakura tries not to fidget while he thinks, imagining all sorts of horrible things he might come up with.

“We’ll see.” He says finally.

“Does that mean – ”

“I won’t be so kind while I’m teaching you. Medic-nin need discipline above all else. Sloppiness equals dead patients. Dead patients lead to Orochimaru subtracting from your price. Understand?” Kabuto says seriously, stepping closer.

Sakura licks her lips, considering it. She’d hoped becoming a medic-nin would make her invaluable to Oto. She hadn’t thought about the risks involved with actually being responsible for Orochimaru’s men.

“I understand.” She says, determined to stay the course, no matter what. Sasuke won’t submit himself to strangers for healing, but he allowed her to fuss over him. She’s the only one he trusts. Whatever these people do to Sasuke, she can help him. And she can help herself by making herself indispensable.

She eyes Kabuto. What’s his price? What happens if she can beat it?

“That’s it,” Kabuto says, baring his teeth in a grin, “That’s the spark. That’s why I spoke up for you. You’ve got the will to go far. That is, if certain burdens don’t drag you down.”

Sakura narrows her eyes at him. Is he referring to Sasuke? It’s the other way round. She’s the burden.

But not for long.

***

Hello, friends.

I had to include the Naruto scene. The poor boy needed _something_. Ino’s not the best as comforting people, but she did well enough, I think!

Kabuto continues to be a thorn in Sakura’s side. And now Sakura will be his apprentice! I’m sure that undisclosed favour won’t come back to haunt her one day. Hahaha…

Sasuke continues to be paranoid and antisocial. Sakura’s learning why people generally live together _before_ they make lifelong commitments to each other. Answer the damn door, Sasuke, you little hermit!

How many people in the world can throw something in Uchiha Sasuke’s face without him immediately punching them?

Just one.

 **Quick poll for fun:** What’s your favourite childhood book?

I had several – I was a nineties kid, so obviously Harry Potter featured heavily, but I also loved anything by Diana Wynne Jones and the Old Kingdom series by Garth Nix. I used to borrow ten books a month from the library but it was never enough! (do kids still use libraries??)


	7. Chapter 7

Hinata enters the room last, hiding her face behind a huge bouquet of yellow flowers.

Kiba is up and walking again, his dog tucked into his hood as normal. His grin is bright, with a faint mocking edge. He takes the seat next to Naruto’s bed with a loud groan, stretching his arms above his head.

“What?” He says in response to Shino turning his head ever so slightly in his direction. “I’m the walking wounded here!”

“Indeed.” Shino says, in vaguely judgemental tones.

“Na-Naruto-kun,” Hinata says, her blushing face barely visible through the flowers, “I thought you might like…”

Naruto can see Hinata isn’t just embarrassed, she’s upset. On his behalf, he thinks. Her eyes are averted, she looks uncomfortable. His heart swells a little. Hinata’s still kind of weird, with her high-pitched mumbling and her constantly red cheeks, but he knows she cares. For whatever reason, she cares. He hasn’t forgotten the moment when she tried to help him in the written portion of the Exams. If she’d gotten caught, her whole team would’ve suffered. But she did it anyway.

“Thanks, Hinata-chan.” He says, finally smiling wide enough to stretch his cheeks. He’s been making do with little, close-mouthed smiles for the last few days.

Hinata smiles, hiding her face as her blush deepens. She does it so often, he thinks, she should just show it off. No point hiding something everyone can see.

As Hinata arranges the flowers in a vase next to his bed, he’s uncomfortably reminded of how Sakura behaved when Sasuke was in the hospital. All enthusiastic smiles and fussing with flowers, bedside vigils and brave faces. Naruto studies Hinata from the corner of his eye. Is this just something all girls do for guys they know? Ino sure as hell didn’t bring him flowers, and her dad owns a flower shop.

Naruto absentmindedly picks at one of his bandages, lost in thought. Sakura sure did spend a lot of time in Sasuke’s hospital room. Maybe he woke up earlier than everyone thought, and they talked about leaving? Did Sakura know that early on? Were all her smiles fake after that?

A dog is suddenly shoved in his face.

Naruto yells, flailing back, feeling some of his wounds tear open.

“You looked kinda constipated there.” Kiba says with a shit-eating grin. Akamaru yaps at him, sounding amused somehow. Naruto _knows_ he’s been spending too much time with Kiba if he’s learned how to interpret dog barks.

Naruto responds with a single finger, making sure Shino’s blocking Hinata’s line of sight. Kiba sneers, dumping Akamaru on Naruto’s chest.

“All healed up!” Kiba declares. “Us Inuzuka are tough to kill. And our pups are even tougher, right Akamaru?” He asks, scratching his puppy’s head. Akamaru yips in agreement.

Is he trying to make Naruto feel less guilty for dragging him along on a hopeless mission? If he is, it’s not working. Just looking at Akamaru’s bright eyes makes Naruto feel even worse for risking him in the first place. Not just him and Kiba, but everyone who helped out on a mission that should’ve been his responsibility. It was his fault Sasuke was acting so weird, his fault for learning Rasengan and fighting Sasuke on the rooftop. His fault for not realising what was wrong until it was too late.

Sakura noticed.

She always noticed when Sasuke’s mood changed, going from fawning adoration when he was feeling smug to quietly soothing whenever his pride was hurt. Naruto had fantasised about her turning to him with a smile and seeing all the bad inside him, the dark thoughts that lingered at night, the monster curled up in his belly. Seeing it all, and not minding. Noticing his hurts, his loss, and changing herself to make him happy.

Now he knew that would have been wrong. Sakura had been changing herself, ever since the Forest. She didn’t just bend under Sasuke’s will anymore, perking up at a glance or sagging with shame from a cutting word. She was changing to make _herself_ happy. And now… he might never know how she would’ve turned out, if that change from the Forest had been allowed to grow.

Jiraiya had stopped by Naruto’s hospital room, with a bunch of bad news and bullshit to bear. Sasuke would be fine for a few years, Jiraiya had said, but maybe you should give up on him in the meantime. Just forget him and Sakura and let them go.

Like Naruto had so many friends he could afford to abandon some.

Jiraiya asked him to leave with him, said he’d train him, make him as strong as Sasuke would be. He hadn’t really given Naruto a choice, but he’d still asked for time to think about it. Jiraiya had looked at the faces of the Hokages, carved into the mountain, and agreed to give him a few days.

Naruto probably could have left the hospital by now, but no one had suggested it and he wasn’t looking forward to going home alone, to be met by nothing and no one. Dust and mouldy food. A picture of a team, unbroken on display.

“Na-Naruto-kun?” Hinata says timidly. “Are you alright?”

Naruto snaps out of it. He gives her a dimmed smile, not quite managing to flash his teeth this time. “Yeah. Sorry, Hinata-chan. Did you need something?”

Kiba frowns, “So polite, Uzumaki. Did your teammates take your balls with them, too?”

Hinata gasps.

Naruto surprises himself with a laugh, harsh and too-loud, “As if! I got ‘em both right here!”

Hinata’s face purples. She wobbles behind Shino, overwhelmed. Naruto feels a little bad, but it’s the first time since Ino came over that he doesn’t feel defeated.

He scratches his head, giving Hinata a sheepish grin. She returns it with a small smile, seemingly unscarred by his crudeness.

“You don’t blame yourself for the failed mission, do you?” Shino says, his voice unsettlingly calm and modulated. Naruto tries not to let his heebie-jeebies show on his face, but it’s hard. This guy’s got bugs _all up inside him_. That’s not right. “Shikamaru was team leader. He gave the commands.”

“It was my fault everyone went in the first place.” Naruto replies.

“ _Psh_ ,” Kiba waves a dismissive hand, “I went ‘cause I was bored. I don’t regret it, either, ‘cause we took out one of Orochimaru’s best squads and we got some pretty great experience out of it, too. I’m sorry you lost your team, believe me. If Shino dragged Hinata out to the backwoods of nowhere, you better believe I’d track ‘em down and beat some sense into whichever one of them had lost their damn mind.”

Shino lets out a tiny _hmph_ sound, pushing his glasses up. Hinata giggles, hiding her mouth behind her hand.

“And it’d be Shino - you _know_ it’d be Shino -  and if I couldn’t beat him and he took Hinata away for good, I’d - ” For the first time, Kiba falters. He looks between his teammates, unsettled. Akamaru whines, and Kiba’s mouth twists. “I’d be fucking furious. There’d be hell to pay and I wouldn’t care who paid it. They’re _my_ team. _My_ pack. That means something. It means I’d do anything to bring them home, yeah, but I’d also know that nothing would change who they were to me. Distance doesn’t change pack. Sasuke and Sakura might be far away, and maybe Sasuke’s messed up right now, but they’re still your teammates. That shit sticks. One day you’ll meet ‘em again and things’ll go better that time.”

Naruto looks down. He wants to believe that. But for all Kiba rags on his teammates, you’d have to be blind not to see how close they all were. Naruto knows he and Sasuke didn’t get on, but they cared - _“My body just moved on its own… Dobe.”_ \- all the same. But then, at the Valley, the way Sasuke had looked at him. With _nothing_ in his eyes. Like he was nothing.

“Did you do everything you could?” Shino asks. Naruto opens his mouth to answer, but Shino beats him to it, “Of course. Is it your fault it wasn’t enough? No, obviously. What is left after you give everything you have? Nothing. So, of course, blaming yourself is pointless. Am I offended that I was left out of the mission? Perhaps.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Naruto-kun.” Hinata pipes up, sounding earnest.

How many times did he have to hear the same thing before he believed it? _It wasn’t my fault,_ he tries on for size. It doesn’t quite fit, but it’ll have to do for now.

More importantly, he wasn’t alone. He still had the rest of the Rookie Nine. He wasn’t the last member of Team Seven in Konoha. He still had his lazy sensei. There was Iruka and even though he’d lost the old man Hokage, he had a new one now.

Even if he did go with Jiraiya, if what Kiba said was true, he would never lose his precious people, no matter far away they were.

Naruto pets Akamaru on the head, smiling at the contented doggy sigh he lets out, stretching on the bed.

xxxxxxxx

Kabuto delivered on the promise of an indoor garden.

Sakura beams at her little table of green goods. She has her own plants, herbs and flowers, a tangle of life to foster and keep for as long as she can manage. Their room already seems brighter for it.

Sasuke doesn’t quite share her enthusiasm, too busy doing press-ups on the floor.

Sakura strokes the leaves of a plant Kabuto called _fangroot_ , a plant with green and white leaves. The white leaves could be used as a healing salve, but the green leaves were poisonous when consumed.

Then there’s the beautiful spray of flowers, the _lady-in-waiting._ Kabuto warned her not to get too attached to its current pale blue blossoms, they’d wilt by the next full moon and different-coloured petals would sprout a month after. It was poisonous in all its forms, he said, and would secrete poison if exposed to killing intent.

And her favourite, the bushy leaves from the Land of Tea. When properly prepared and boiled, they would make an aromatic seasalt tea. He’d given her cinnamon and honey to go with it.

“Why did he leave all that in here?” Sasuke asks, finally seeming to notice the table of pots and trays.

“I asked for a garden, to cheer the place up. I’m going to get some paint, too. What’s your favourite colour?” She asks, tapping her chin as she pictured various shades that would go well together.

Sasuke gives her an incredulous look, “I’m not a child, I don’t have one. Do _you_?”

Sakura tweaks a lock of her hair, turning to hide her growing blush. So maybe she’s held onto some childish things. She doesn’t see any harm in it.

“Blue might work…” She says quietly.

Sasuke is silent for a while, and Sakura goes back to inspecting her plants, memorising names and how much water they all need.

Then she hears the rustle of fabric as he stands up, “But why is he just _giving_ you what you ask for?” He asks, right behind her.

Sakura continues to stare down at her plants, because her face is turning red at his proximity and he obviously has no idea what he does to her just with his presence.

“Why shouldn’t he? It’s not much to ask for, is it?”

Sasuke tuts, then reaches past her to inspect the table. Sakura freezes, Sasuke’s arm brushing against her face, his breath disturbing her hair.

“Let me guess, you asked for an indoor garden, nothing special, right?” Sasuke demands. He waits for her to nod before going on, “And he gave you all this, _none_ of which is native to this land and _none_ of which is cheap or simple to get. So, why?”

Sakura winces.

She hasn’t told him about her plan to be a medic just yet. She knows what his response would be. A cold stare and a _do what you want_ , which actually means _how dare you breathe._

He’d demanded to know what her talk with Kabuto had been about, and she’d placated him with talk of herbs and plants. It’d helped when Kabuto showed up the next day, bearing a little table full of fresh-smelling greenery.

She had to tell him. Her first lesson with Kabuto was supposed to be tomorrow morning, when Sasuke didn’t have any training to keep him too busy to question her movements.

If he had his way, she’d be in this room 24/7, safe and sound at all times.

That isn’t what she wants, so it’s not what’s going to happen.

Her expression sets in a firm look. She turns to face him, willing her face to cool down at the sight of him, inches away.

“I’m going to learn healing from Kabuto.” She says.

Sasuke’s lips curl up in a sneer. He opens his mouth to snap something, but Sakura holds up her hand and gently pushes him back.

“I need to increase my value, Sasuke-kun. What better way to do it than by becoming a medic-nin? I’ll be useful without having to kill for Orochimaru.” She explains, trying to sound calm and reasonable, despite how frazzled she feels.

“You’ll have to be alone with him for hours.” Sasuke says flatly. “It’s not going to happen.”

“What’s your plan, Sasuke-kun? How long do you plan to stay here? Because I can’t just hide in this room while you train and get stronger, and I just waste time being _useless._ ” Sakura snaps, putting her hands on her hips.

Sasuke’s face darkens, “I have no objection to you getting stronger. I just need to figure out who is trustworthy in this place.”

“You’ve already started your training, so you must have judged _someone_ trustworthy. The same people who beat you up, right? Orochimaru’s elite? You can’t tell me you trust them. But you’ll learn from them all the same. How can I do any less? Everything here is going to be a risk, I know that. It was my choice to come with you, Sasuke-kun, and I’m _here._ I’m not going anywhere. I want to be strong. For me, and for you.”

Sasuke looks down, his jaw clenching. He steps back a little further, his eyes shaded by his hair, “Fine. I get it. Don’t take any unnecessary risks, and _don’t_ trust anyone. Understand? Treat this whole base like The Forest of Death.”

“Do you want me to promise?” Sakura asks, amused by the sheer seriousness on his face. “Pinky swear?”

Sasuke sighs like her entire existence is an inconvenience to him, but to her shock, he raises his hand in invitation.

Slowly, expecting his hand to dart away and for him to look at her like she’s crazy, Sakura reaches out. He doesn’t move away. She hooks their little fingers together, feeling his flex against hers, unused to contact.

He meets her eyes, his gaze heavy with solemnity, “Promise me you will never knowingly put yourself in danger.”

Sakura swallows. Her palms are damp, for some reason.

“I promise.” She says, and it feels like a binding oath.

She can almost see the thread tying their fingers together. When she was little, she and Ino used to make promises like this all the time over silly, insignificant things. _Now don’t break the promise or something terrible will happen!_ Ino would say. In those days, the worst things they could think of involved embarrassment, inconvenience, loneliness or hunger. Nothing like the kind of things Sakura was thinking of right now.

“You promise the same thing for me, please.” Sakura says hoarsely.

Sasuke smirks, “I don’t need to. I’m going to be too strong to be in danger.”

“Well, you aren’t right now. So, promise me?”

Sasuke huffs, but his finger tightens around hers, “I promise. _Hmph._ ”

“Good enough!” Sakura says brightly.

xxxxxxxx

It starts when she’s lying awake, all the stresses of tomorrow arriving early and swarming around in her mind. _What if, what if,_ chants in her mind on a never-ending loop. _What if **what**? _ she thinks irritably, _what if I learn something and become stronger as a result? What then, huh?_

For a while, the nagging voice of doubt in her head falls silent.

But then something else begins.

Sasuke lets out a bitten-off cry of fear, the sound making the hairs on the back of Sakura’s neck stand up.

He’s in the bed next to hers, across the room. She looks over at him with wide, confused eyes. She hasn’t heard anything like that from him since The Forest of Death, when Orochimaru’s bite lit a fire in him that she couldn’t douse, malignant flames licking across his skin.

She can see his face, pale in the dark, creased in pain.

His curse seal glows in the dark.

She throws off her blanket, all fears for tomorrow vanishing in the face of tonight’s threat.

She crouches next to him, wary of him striking out in his sleep. He’s sweating. She touches his brow very gently, letting her chakra immerse him. They’ve trained together enough that she shouldn’t register as a threat to him, even on an instinctual level. His mouth forms a snarl, but he’s exhausted and it’s not nearly as effective as it would be if he were conscious.

She takes a moment to study his seal. Orochimaru only needed to bite his subject to spread his mark. She’s never heard of such a technique. She reaches out, laying a shaky hand on his neck, wishing she could wipe the awful thing away.

Sasuke keens, his body wracked with shudders. Before Sakura can think of propriety, of boundaries, or the risks, she’s moving.

She climbs into his bed, pressing herself against the wall to avoid lying on top of him. Instead she lies just behind him, keeping a cool hand on his mark.

“It’s okay, Sasuke-kun.” She murmurs, willing him to calm down. His suffering is tearing right through her.

Sasuke is trembling all over.

Sakura keeps on mumbling vaguely comforting words until her voice is cracked and hoarse and her eyes keep shutting on their own, as heavy as anchors, pulling her into a deep, dark sleep.

She wakes when he throws her out of bed.

She lands well, rolling even while she’s blinking sleep out of her eyes, confused. She looks up. Sasuke is furious, his eyes hot with rage. He gives her a single glare, then turns his back on her.

“Wait, Sasuke-kun!” She says, bolting up in alarm.

He slams the door behind him as he leaves, clad only in the dark shirt and shorts he slept in.

“Damn it.” Sakura murmurs, running a hand through her hair. She could chase after him, but she knows his anger all too well. He needs to beat someone, or be beaten, in a fight. It’s the only way he can cool down.

She’s got healing with Kabuto soon. At least Sasuke’s nightmares distracted her from her own fears. She’s too tired and raw from hours of comforting and soothing to care too much about what might lie before her today. Kabuto is a nuisance, but a useful one.

 _Well, when a morning starts off badly, the rest of the day has to be better_ , she thinks hopefully.

xxxxxxxx

Kabuto greets her with a smile and a severed limb.

Sakura fights the urge to rear back at the sight of it, lying pale and limp on the table before them.

“Arm or leg?” Kabuto asks.

For one mad moment, she thinks he’s asking which she’d prefer. Then she scans the limb and works it out.

“Arm.”

“Male or female?”

“I… It could be either.”

“A fair assessment. How was the arm lost?”

Sakura steels herself and examines the larger bloody stump, the part that used to meet the shoulder. The cut looks clean, no jagged flesh.

“Amputation?” She says.

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

“Telling you.”

“Good. And the hand?”

Sakura swallows, holding her breath. It doesn’t smell, exactly, but there is something singularly unpleasant about being so close to part of a person without the rest of the person at hand.

This cut looks messy, with strips of skin and flesh hanging.

“Not amputation. It looks like…” She narrows her eyes, looking closer. There are cuts further up the arm, like self-defence wounds, “It was cut off while they were awake and aware. They tried to fight back.”

“Were they a shinobi or a civilian?”

She can’t exactly examine their chakra coils, given it is a dead arm and nothing else. She can’t even look at the hand for calluses, tell-tale signs of regular weapon use. If she can’t see what _is_ there… she must look for what isn’t. Other than the relatively fresh cuts, there are no other marks, no scars or defects, just smooth, pale skin.

She closes her eyes, hardly believing what she’s about to do, and touches the arm. The muscles are lean, underused. There’s a layer of fat that no shinobi would have, a softness that says this person led a good life.

“Civilian.” She says finally.

“Good.” Kabuto says. He isn’t smiling for once, which puts her on edge. “This was a noble we were paid to assassinate. They asked for the head, we kept the rest. When you look at this arm, do you see a person?”

It’s just a handless lump of flesh encasing a bone, a white strip of gore. She grimaces and shakes her head.

“That’s good. This is all your targets are. Flesh, blood and bone. They aren’t people you need to cry over. They’re nothing but meat that will, if you do your job properly, end up on this table.”

Sakura is feeling slightly faint. This isn’t what it was like in Konoha. Not at all. That’s what she expected, so at least there were no surprises on that front. Yet.

“When you become a medic, you learn every part of the human body until it ceases to be human, and simply becomes a body. You will learn anatomy, vitals and chakra systems. I know you’ve a good head for memorisation, so use it. Your only purpose from now on is to preserve human life. Sometimes that means putting pressure on a wound to stop the flow of blood. Other times it means cutting off a limb to stop the spread of gangrene. Sometimes it simply means saving a life. Other times it means taking one to save another. Are you prepared for that?”

Sakura nods, a tight frown forming on her face. She’s remembering her first kill, the one Kakashi tried to help her with. She’d treated it like a project she had to complete - stopping the sweaty man with the kunai on her own - and had barely managed it. She’d been sick afterwards, surprised by how violently her body rejected what she had done. Kakashi had rubbed her back gently, while Naruto yelled about how great she was. Sasuke had said nothing, and she’d wondered, sick and wounded, if he’d even noticed.

“I want to be a good medic.” Sakura says.

“Forget that. I can make you great.” Kabuto says with a cocksure grin. “It starts with this. Send chakra into this limb and make it respond. I want you to temporarily reanimate the flesh by manipulating it.”

“But there’s no brain - “

“There’s chakra. Barely. And muscles. Make it move, that’s all I ask.”

Sakura places her hands on the metal table, looking down at the arm. She’s glad she forced herself to touch it earlier. It might have been harder to work up the courage to deliberately touch it, knowing she had to.

She decides to treat it like she would the rare occasions in which her parents let her help with dinner. Touching raw meat was always gross, but she had developed a business-like attitude towards it that could only help now.

She gently grasps the arm with both hands. It’s a lot wider than her own. An adult, then. At least their suffering was over now, if Kabuto was telling the truth. She hoped there wasn’t an armless person stuck somewhere in the base, being tormented by Orochimaru’s goons.

Though, she supposed she was one of those goons now.

 _Concentrate_ , she chides herself, sending exploratory chakra through the arm. From what she recalled from textbooks, chakra systems sometimes reacted to foreign chakra like an infection, clashing with it in the body’s defence. Nothing happened this time. She could sense the dimmest of sparks. This was going to be difficult. Not only was the chakra system recently cut off from the rest of the body, it used to belong to a civilian, so it was underdeveloped and weak.

Too much chakra and she might send it dancing off the table. Somehow, she doesn’t think that’s what Kabuto has in mind.

She slowly pushes herself down, imagining her fingers crooking in motion, and the arm responding. Nothing happens. She tries again, immersing the arm with her chakra. Nothing.

She’s started to sweat.

Kabuto hasn’t moved from her side the entire time she’s been practising, watching intently over her shoulder. It was more than a little unnerving.

Still, what would be worse than returning to Sasuke a failure after the morning they’d had? She wouldn’t be able to salvage their growing friendship with tales of how she’d failed to do what he didn’t want her to do in the first place.

She’s not sure how much time has passed. The world has narrowed in scope to just her hands, the sound of her breathing, and the arm in front of her.

She breathes out, then crooks her fingers.

The arm moves with her. It would be waving if it still had a hand.

Kabuto gives a boyish laugh, sounding surprised, “Well done. That’s the beginning of your journey, right there.”

Sakura beams.

_I did it!_

***

 Hello, friends.

Sakura is steadily growing more comfortable with the life she is being very gently introduced to. And now she has a garden of her own! Which is filled with plants I made up because I know nothing about real plants, but _fantasy_ plants are totally my thing. What, that plant should be in a different kind of pot? Well, not a Magical Melonrose, thank you very much.

Sakura also has a big misunderstanding to sort out with a boy who has the social skills of a porcupine. Oh dear.

Tsunade introducing Sakura to healing: revive this dead fish, please.

Kabuto introducing Sakura to healing: become a NECROMANCER!

I’ve written all this on a computer I’ve borrowed because my own laptop is mad at me and is refusing to work, so if there’s any layout issues or grammatical errors, it’s because I’m using a new keyboard and a new program to type with. Sad face.

More Naruto POV because the boy deserves it. I love Part One Naruto, he’s such an optimistically dumb sunshine boy who shouts at villains until they give up. What a good kid.

Sasuke is still not evil. Excellent progress. Very proud.

 **Quick poll for fun:** Who is the scariest villain?

I remember being genuinely afraid of Voldemort in the Harry Potter books, with his high-pitched laugh, red eyes and unpredictable temper, but now that I’m older I think Umbridge’s sickly-sweet facade is more horrific, considering what it masks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be changing the title of this fic to 'These Bitter Weeds' after this chapter! Just a little heads up!

“I know you’re there, Baka-sensei.” Naruto grumbles, not bothering to open his eyes.

“I’m impressed,” Kakashi says, flicking Naruto on the nose, “my cute little student is growing up to be so talented.”

Naruto blows a raspberry.

“And dignified,” Kakashi says, folding his arms, the very image of an unimpressed sensei.

“Take that dumb look off your face,” Naruto complains.

“You can’t see my face,” Kakashi points out slowly.

“Hehehe…. It’s still dumb though!” Naruto grins up at him, laughing more at the deadpan response he receives, “Why’re you here so early, anyway? I thought you turned to smoke until noon, and that’s why you’re always late for everything.”

“I’m hurt! Can’t a teacher come see his favour – ” Kakashi cuts himself off, his breath hitching slightly, then carries on smoothly with barely a second of hesitation, “ – favourite student? Sensei was worried, after all.”

“Were you?” Naruto asks bluntly. Kakashi looks away briefly, the closest he ever came to squirming in guilt. Naruto pushes himself up and sighs. He’s too tired and messed up himself to be comforting someone else, and he’s terrible at it anyway.

“Of course.” Kakashi says quietly, sprawling on the chair beside Naruto’s bed. He scratches his head, leaving silver spikes askew. “I know it took me some time to come visit, but… I’m here now.”

Naruto gazes at him, then throws his arms over his face, letting out a bitter laugh, “I’m not, you know. I’m not your favourite student. I never was.”

“Naruto – ”

“It’s fine. I’m used to coming in last place. It must suck for you that it wasn’t me that left, that – ”

“ _ _Naruto__.” Kakashi snaps.

Naruto lowers his arms from his face, a little shocked. Kakashi rarely speaks above monotone, unless he’s truly angry. Naruto heard it first when Zabuza appeared. The last time was when Naruto and Sasuke nearly killed Sakura on the hospital roof.

“You are not an afterthought or a consolation prize. I have three students, and I care about them all the same. I may have focused on Sasuke too much, but that was because I was afraid something like __this__  would happen. That he would leave or do something worse. And if I seemed to treat Sakura better than you, I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional.” Kakashi says.

He drops his hand on Naruto’s head, his eye curving up into a smile.

“Why are you so dumb, sensei?” Naruto huffs. “Taking me seriously. Can’t a guy joke around with his favourite sensei?”

Kakashi’s eye curves up and he leans in close, “Aww… your favourite? Really? Even more than Ebisu?”

“ _ _Especially__  more than Ebisu!” Naruto huffs.

“Even more than Jiraiya?”

Naruto stills. Kakashi’s still smiling, his eye that same crescent shape, but there’s something about the way his body is angled forwards that makes it seem like he’s invested in Naruto’s answer.

So. Even Kakashi knows about Jiraiya’s offer. It wasn’t much of an offer, more like a ‘come with me or stay here and get caught and killed by some shadowy organisation that for some reason wants you double-dead,’ kind of thing.

Naruto’s had more than enough time to think about it.

“Jiraiya’s not my sensei,” He says lightly, “I’ve only got one of those, and he’s right here. What do you say we make up for lost time, and work twice as hard as everyone else to get super strong? I’ll be Hokage in no time, and you can be my assistant!”

Kakashi snorts, “No thanks. Paperwork’s not my forte. Too many papercuts for my poor, delicate hands. I’ll stick to being your long-suffering sensei, thanks.”

Naruto beams, “Team Seven’s gonna be even better than the Sannin, no matter what! We’re gonna save Sakura and drag Sasuke home and become elite shinobi together, okay? You better not wimp out on us!”

Kakashi heaves a long sigh, stretching his arms over his head, “Sounds like hard work. I guess if you’re up for it, so am I. And if you’re staying in the village, you’ll need someone to keep an eye on you, don’t you think?”

Naruto scowls, picking at the fraying bandage around his wrist, “I’m not a kid. I can look after myself.”

“Yeah, you know all about the main food groups, right? Ramen, ramen, and what was the other one?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been by myself all my life, I know what I’m doing.” Naruto grumbles. And he does. He knows where to buy the cheapest noodles, which storekeepers will chase him out and which one’s will just make him pay double, he knows the fastest escape routes if he gets cornered in the market, and he knows where his favourite vegetable stall dumps their unsold produce at the end of the day. He always takes what he can carry and washes it in his sink, thumping the pipes so the water’ll come out clean, and then he chops it all up and puts it in his dinner. He’s not a huge fan of veggies, but he feels a little better when he has them.

“Then you’re better off than me. Think you can help your old sensei out? Teach him a thing or two about taking care of himself?” Kakashi asks plaintively, tilting his head in question. “I’ve got a spare room in my apartment. Of course, it’s full of boxes and spiders, but if you think you can help me clean it out, the room’s yours. If you want it.”

Naruto stares at him. His eyes immediately start to sting, as if it’s the middle of winter and the icy wind’s whipping at his face, stealing his breath away.

“Really?” He says, his voice a breathless whisper. He’s never been good at holding hope back. He always gets worked up about stuff, far too excited about things that never come to be, and then he has to deal with the crippling disappointment. He’s got big dreams and high hopes, there’s no room for caution. He throws himself at the future, a relentless animal, ready for __someday__  to become __today.__

He stares at Kakashi, feeling everything inside him rising up, ready to leap again, uncaring about what might happen if he falls.

Kakashi’s eye is curved up once more, tiny crow’s feet poking out from under the mask, and then -

And then.

Naruto’s stomach swoops.

Kakashi slowly pulls his mask down to his chin, showing how his smile spreads across his entire face.

“Anything for my favourite student.”

xxxxxxxxx

Sakura practically skips back to her room, coasting high off her success. She did it! She did something no one who knew her would think her capable of at all. She wonders if Kakashi would show his surprise – because he __would__  be surprised – or if he would act cool and unbothered, like he did with the tree climbing.

She had been so proud of herself that day, even with Kakashi’s calm response and Sasuke’s anger. Naruto’s cheering hadn’t annoyed her for once. She’d felt on top of the world, sitting on that branch, way above her team. That was her peak, the first and last time she ever felt worthy of being on the same team as Sasuke.

From then on, it had been one step forward, two steps back. Always. Part of her always thought it was just because she was naturally without talent, not suited to the life of a shinobi. None of her team ever treated her like one, anyway.

But now… now Sasuke had started to look at her with something approaching respect, and she ruined it by climbing into bed with him. He must think she’s some hormonal idiot who abandoned her village for a crush.

Sakura groans, hitting her head lightly with the flat of her palm.

She stops walking when she’s a few doors down from her room, listening intently in case she could tell if Sasuke was already inside.

She can’t hear anything. She swallows, forcing herself to open the door and step inside.

Sasuke is in the room, but he isn’t exercising or sleeping. He’s sitting on his bed, staring at his hands.

“What do you want,” He says, too flat to be a question. It’s more like he’s pondering out loud.

“To be useful,” Sakura replies instantly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

Sasuke looks up at her. His eyes are blank, his mouth a thin line. Most of his expressions are so subtle, so minute in detail, that it’s difficult to discern what they mean or even tell them apart. It’s possible he’s angry, since his gaze is hard and intense, but there’s nothing else to indicate annoyance on his face.

Sakura sits on her bed, facing him. He’s still staring at her, but he doesn’t make a move to speak. Sakura doesn’t want to sit in silence for the next few hours, waiting for him to talk, so she forces herself to go first.

“I’m sorry,” She starts, ignoring the way his eyes narrow, “I should never have violated your personal space. If it helps, I had a good reason.”

Sasuke’s face shifts subtly, something venomous crossing his face. He still doesn’t speak. Sakura licks her lips, her mouth suddenly dry.

“You were having a nightmare. You were scared and it was… it was just like that time in the forest, when you were in pain and you needed me – ” Sakura babbles, the words just flowing out.

She cuts off the moment Sasuke stands up and crosses the room, standing so close she can feel the warmth of his legs touch her knees.

“Don’t talk about that,” Sasuke spits out, his face contorting.

Of __course__  he doesn’t want to talk about the first time she ever saw him truly vulnerable. The mission to Wave doesn’t count, although she saw his unguarded face, still lovely even in death, it didn’t feel like Sasuke was weak or like he needed her. He just seemed __gone__. Cold and distant. Unresponsive to her words and touch. Like always.

“I didn’t need you then and I don’t need you now,” Sasuke says, so thoughtlessly cruel. Just like always.

Sakura stands up, forcing him to step back or end up nose-to-nose. She started this conversation feeling guilty and anxious, wanting to reassure him and regain his trust.

Now, she’s just angry.

“You did need me. I know you did, because __you__  grabbed my hand, and __you__  fell into my arms, and you took every bit of comfort I could provide without a word of complaint,” Sakura says, glaring straight at his face, not allowing him to look away, “And last night was the same. You were too far gone to refuse and I felt terrible for trying to help anyway, but it doesn’t change the fact that it __worked__.”

Sasuke’s chest is rising and falling rapidly. She’s getting to him. For some inane, childish reason, she feels a flicker of excitement that the aloof Uchiha Sasuke is __feeling__  something. Because of __her__.

“You calmed down when I hugged you,” Sakura says, ignoring the way his mouth twitches in anger. She thinks about it and says slowly, ponderously, “You calm down… when I – ” When she grabbed him from behind, back in the forest when he was covered in the cursed seal’s markings and radiating pure bloodlust. He stopped when she hugged him.

Sasuke lurches backwards, as if he can rip away from this conversation. Sakura reaches out, fingertips just barely grazing his sleeve. He jerks away as if burned.

“When was the last time you felt weak?” Sakura demands hotly.

Sasuke’s eyebrows move upwards ever so slightly. Surprise.

“I know it’s uncomfortable for you and I know it hurts your pride to even admit that, but that’s only because you’ve had the luxury of being strong for most of your life. You have no idea what it feels like to be truly weak, all the time. Completely helpless. Forever at the mercy of your friends and enemies. So, I’m sorry if you don’t like being weak when you’re in pain, or scared, but imagine if you were like me, and you were vulnerable no matter how you were feeling. You are not made of stone, Sasuke-kun. Sometimes, you need to let yourself be human. And count yourself lucky that you have the benefit of choice, because some of us never get to be strong.”

Sasuke says nothing, but he doesn’t move away again. A muscle is leaping in his jaw, and he is staring fixedly at the wall.

“I will never think less of you, no matter what you do,” Sakura says softly, “You could cry as much as Lee, or be as scared as Chouji, and I would never pity or ridicule you for it.”

“I can’t be weak, Sakura,” Sasuke says flatly, “I have to be strong, and to continue getting stronger. You know my mission. Don’t interfere.”

“If you try to force yourself to get stronger and stronger without ever giving yourself a break, you’ll just fall apart. You’ll become brittle and weaker for it, and you’ll reverse whatever progress you’ve made. You need to decompress sometimes, Sasuke-kun. You’ve been through a lot – and maybe I don’t know everything about it, but I do know you’ve never allowed yourself to be anything less than perfect, and that’s impossible to keep up forever.”

“What do you suggest I do instead?” Sasuke says, and it’s a challenge, not a question.

“Be as strong as you like out there,” Sakura points at the door, “But do whatever you need to in here. Cry, rage, scream, whatever. No one can survive being untouchable forever. Sooner or later you’ll snap and do something you’ll regret, or have an outburst that you’ll __really__  find humiliating.”

Sasuke scowls, “I don’t need this, Sakura.”

She hears what’s left unsaid. __I don’t need__ you.

“You can say that as much as you want, but when you come back broken and bruised from training, I’ll do my best to treat your wounds anyway. When you have nightmares, because you __will__  have nightmares, I’ll comfort you. It doesn’t matter if you can’t admit it. I’m still going to be here for you. Like it or not.” Sakura shrugs, ignoring the way his eyes snap to hers, fury writ in the lines of his face.

Sasuke is silent for a moment, his mouth shaped into a tight grimace. He scratches the bandage edging from under his sleeve from the last training session he endured.

“What about you?” He asks finally, looking at her with a direct, challenging gaze. “Who takes care of you?”

Sakura blinks in surprise, mouth opening to automatically to deny needing to be taken care of, but he holds up a hand to stop her.

“You just said no one can survive being untouchable forever. What about you?”

“I - I don’t think I’m untouchable - ”

“You had friends in Konoha,” Sasuke says, the words coming out wooden, like the taste is unfamiliar to him, “Family. Bonds that you needed to keep you…”

He trails off.

She wonders what he was going to say. Healthy? Happy? Sane?

Alive?

“I can’t be that for you,” He says bluntly, looking her straight in the eye, “But you won’t get it from anyone else here.”

Sakura bites her lip. The idea of being without a friendly face or a sympathetic ear for however long she manages to survive here is… unpleasant. Still, she’d assumed she could manage, since she would have Sasuke, no matter how closed-off and unapproachable he was.

Sasuke shoves his hands in his pockets, looking away, “I’ll do what I can.”

Sakura stares, “What do you mean, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke almost winces. His near-blank face is somehow radiating discomfort. “I can’t… I can’t help you with most things, like when you get upset. You know I can’t. But sometimes… I’ll try. If I can.”

Sakura’s mouth drops open.

Sasuke rolls his eyes, “Don’t make a big deal out of it. And, also… you should drop the suffix.”

Sakura sits down heavily on the bed, staring up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

He wants her to stop using the suffix? How could she possibly do that? Unbelievably, images of Ino’s outraged face come to mind and Sakura has to stifle a sudden, utterly inappropriate laugh.

“Sas - I can’t do that,” Sakura says, frazzled.

Sasuke bends down so he’s not looming over her, and meets her eyes with a patient look. “Drop the suffix, Sakura.”

Sakura feels her face heat up with a blush and fights the urge to cover her cheeks.

“Um… Okay. S-Sasuke…”

He nods, satisfied, and draws away from her face, giving her room to breathe.

She peers at him, suddenly suspicious.

Was that a __smirk__  on his face?

xxxxxxxx

Later, she’d asked him what she should do if his nightmares return. He’d scowled at her as if she was suggesting something impossible, but muttered, “Don’t touch me. Just talk to me.”

So when Sasuke’s breath sped up that night, his face tight in pain, Sakura told him about her childhood and all of her favourite foods. Eventually, his breathing had slowed down and the tension in his face smoothed out.

The next day, Kabuto comes calling again.

He actually enters their room this time, much to Sasuke’s irritation.

“Good news,” Kabuto says, ignoring their sullen faces, “Your initiation period is over. You can actually become members of Oto now.”

Sasuke clearly could not care less.

“Initiation period? Is this why we never saw anyone but you?” Sakura asks, mentally adding __and Kimimaro and Orochimaru__. She doesn’t think they count. She also saw a few patients in the ward they were brought to just after arriving, and a random man delivered a bag of clothes to their room once, but that was it. She was beginning to assume Oto was made up of five people and one hell of a bluff.

“Correct. It helps to minimise tensions if we introduce new members of the village very gradually. We can see how serious they are about joining, how… committed to the cause they will become. And if they are clearly unsuitable, then we won’t have wasted time introducing them to the village.”

“You say village, but it seems more like a base to me,” Sakura says.

Kabuto gives her an indulgent smile, “It’s sometimes more useful to be rootless, so you can move at a moment’s notice. Otogakure has no territory to defend, it stands to lose nothing if we are forced to evacuate, unlike historically occupied nations like Kusagakure. They lost the land and so lost ‘Kusa.’ Uzushiokagure lost almost every single citizen in one fell swoop because they were concentrated in one area. Otogakure is wherever its members are. Do you understand?”

Sakura tries not to look as dubious as she feels, “That explains the lack of Kage. And windows. Should I not bother decorating our room if we might have to pack up at a moment’s notice?”

Kabuto glances around their sparse room without much interest, “No, you should be fine. You can either pick from the paint and furniture we already have or wait until you start getting wages from your missions, and then you can order more specific items from outside of the base.”

 _ _Missions__. Sakura hides an instinctive grimace. It was always inevitable.

“More importantly, here are your new hitae-ate.” Kabuto says, his smile turning soft and genuine as he extends two headbands, one in each hand. For a long, frozen moment, the two genin can only stare. “Wear them with pride, and the knowledge that this is a rare honour.”

Sasuke is the first to reach out. He takes the headband, clenching it in his fist so the insignia is hidden in his hand. He doesn’t speak, just lowers his head to hide the dark scowl etched onto his face.

Sakura can’t look away from the carved musical note, so unlike the leaf design she’s come to know like the back of her hand. She’s spent so many years around people wearing Konoha’s mark that to see any other headband always gives her a feeling of discomfort. It looks… wrong.

Sasuke nudges her arm, a quick, barely noticeable movement. She feels it like an alarm bell ringing to say she’s messed up, revealed her true loyalties with one slight hesitation.

It’s ridiculous, of course. Kabuto isn’t stupid. He already knows why she’s here, and it’s not to serve Orochimaru. This isn’t an honour, it’s a badge to let the rest of the base - and the world - know that they belong to Oto now.

Sakura forces down her revulsion in the same way she always does when she has to address Orochimaru with respect.

She returns Kabuto’s smile, aware that hers is flinty and cold, and takes the hitae-ate.

The cloth is dark grey, the metal polished and bright. It feels like a lead weight in her hand, but she holds grimly on.

***

Hello, friends!

Sorry for the huge gap in updates, but there’s a higher demand for my other fanfictions so I try to update those first. However, I still have a lot of love for this story, and I work on it whenever I can. This is the fic I wanted to read when I was a teen, so I obviously have to write it now I’m an adult!

****So, I’m going to change the title from ‘On Lightning’s Wing, A Petal Learns to Sting’, to ‘These Bitter Weeds.’** **

I’m doing this because 1) I’ve always hated the title and 2) People have told me how they nearly passed up reading this story because of the title, so I can’t imagine how many actually did pass it up because of it.

I had Kakashi show Naruto his face because Naruto needed that moment of someone putting him first and trusting him. I don’t know if we’ll have any more updates on Naruto’s life before the timeskip, but just know 1) he’s not going with Jiraiya and 2) he’s going to reenter the Chuunin Exams with Chouji and Ino and Kakashi is going to pour all of his attention and teaching straight onto him.

Sakura and Sasuke are still struggling and growing together. They’re gonna leave that room the next chapter, and explore Otogakure, possibly even meeting some of its residents :D

They’re also going to get a whole Oto wardrobe of clothes they’re gonna hate wearing!

Kabuto is kind of lying here. It’s true that they were in quarantine, waiting to see if they’d be worth keeping around without introducing them to the rest of the ‘village,’ but it’s not true that that’s standard procedure for all newcomers to Oto. In this case, Oro didn’t want his precious vessel to be damaged, so he spent some time… __informing__ his people just how important the Uchiha was, so they wouldn’t get any ideas.

Oto in general is weird. It’s introduced as a village, they have hitae-ate, uniforms, they attend the chuunin exam… but they don’t have a village, just a series of bases, and although Orochimaru is the leader, he’s not the Kage. It seems more like a front for Orochimaru’s army.

No more Sasuke-kun. Poor Sakura. She has to live in the same room as her crush, who enjoys flustering her. So rude.

I hope you guys are still reading this fic! XD

 ** **Quick poll for fun:**** If you could teleport anywhere for the day with a wallet full of money to do activities, where would you go and why?

I’d go to Japan or New Zealand, probably!


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